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How to Discern if a Word is From the Lord

This article will serve as a good followup to an an article we just released titled, “How to be Led by the Holy Spirit.”

In that article, we gave you 8 basic ways in which the Lord will use to supernaturally communicate to us in this life.

In this new article, I now want to take you one step further and show you how to properly test any type of supernatural communication you may receive so you know for sure the word you are receiving is really coming from the Lord and not from your own imagination or from a demon.

Many Christians do not properly test any type of supernatural communication they receive and as a result, they sometimes get duped by a demon who is trying to masquerade as the Lord with the message he is giving to them.

Below I will give you 8 very basic tests that you can use to test any type of supernatural communication you think you are receiving.

The word “test” means to carefully analyze, scrutinize – to prove and to try.

Remember, if you are receiving any type of supernatural words or messages, it is either coming from one of three sources:
  • From the Lord Himself
  • From your own mind and imagination, as the OT has told us how some prophets would prophesy out of their imagination
  • Or it could be coming from a demonic spirit who is trying to knock you off course

As we have said in our first article on how to be led by the Holy Spirit, do not be afraid if sometimes you miss this, as all of this is a learning process with the Lord.

You will learn how to hear from God through a process of trial and error with Him. And just because demons can try and mess with us at times does not mean you want to totally shut God down with the different ways He will use to supernaturally communicate to us in this life.

God was constantly communicating to His people back in both the OT and NT, and He still wants to do it in this day and age since He is the same today as He was yesterday. We just have to learn how to do this with Him.

Now I will break down these 8 different ways on how to test a word from the Lord so you will know for sure that the word you are receiving is really coming directly from Him and not from your own imagination or a demon.

How To Test Any Type of Supernatural Communication You May Receive

Before I get into the 8 different ways in which you can test any type of supernatural, divine communication you think you may be receiving, here are a few good verses from the Bible showing us that we have to test these kinds of supernatural things out when we do receive them.

  • “Test all things; hold fast what is good.” (1 Thessalonians 5:21)
  • “For Satan himself transforms himself into an ANGEL OF LIGHT. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works.” (2 Corinthians 11:14)
  • “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, BUT TEST THE SPIRITS, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, and every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God. And this is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard was coming, and is now already in the world.” (1 John 4:1-4)

The first verse hits the nail right on the head when it tells us to test all things. And all things means any kind of supernatural communication you think you are receiving, including those that are coming direct from the Lord.

God will not be offended if you attempt to test what He is trying to tell you. He will want you to test it, otherwise He would have never put the above verses in His Word. Too many Christians have been seriously hurt over the years because they have never stopped to test the words they were receiving.

Here are the 8 basic tests you can use to test any type of supernatural communication you think you may be receiving. I will first list them out in a bolded, numbered format so you can have them right at the top of this section. Here they are:

  • Does the Word Line Up With Scripture?
  • Does the Word Line Up With the Character of God?
  • Does the Word Line Up With What God is Doing With Your Life?
  • Does Your Spirit Bear Witness With the Word?
  • There is Safety in the Multitude of Counselors
  • Ask God to Confirm the Word For You
  • Will the Word Glorify God?
  • Will the Word Produce Liberty or Bondage?

Now here is a breakdown on each one of these 8 tests so you will know how to use each one of them to properly test any type of supernatural word you think you may be receiving from the Lord.

1. Does the Word Line Up With Scripture?

This is without a doubt the first test you must use to make sure that what you are receiving is truly coming from the Lord. If the word or message does not pass this first test, then you have to immediately throw it out, as it is no longer trustworthy.

This first test is that the word and message that you are are receiving has to line up with the Word of God – the Bible. God will never go against His own Word. And if the message you are receiving is not lining up with Scripture or is blatantly going against Scripture, you have to immediately discard it – no questions asked!

Here are some examples of where you can receive a false word that will not be lining up with Scripture:

a)  If you are dating a girl and all of a sudden you think you are receiving a word from the Lord that it would be alright for you to start having sex with her, that word will not be from the Lord.

This would be the sin of fornication and this sin is specifically mentioned in the Bible numerous times. Thus the word you are receiving cannot be trusted as being a pure true word from the Lord, as God would never go against one of His own basic commands in the Bible.

Demons love to try and get people off track by committing these types of sins, so do not fall for it if you think that type of word is coming in on you. Immediately rebuke the demon and tell him to leave you in the name of Jesus if you ever feel that kind of false word is coming in on you.

b)  If you are married and you are starting to have some troubles in your marriage, and then all of a sudden you feel like you have received a word that it would be alright to start having an affair with someone else because you are no longer happy and fulfilled in your marriage – again, do not fall for for it.

This would be adultery, and the Bible has the sin of adultery listed as one of the 10 commandments. Again, God would never, ever tell you to commit this sin, as this would be going against His own direct Word on this topic.

Believe it or not, we have heard from numerous Christians over the years who felt they were receiving this kind of word and release from the Lord due to the bad state of their marriage.

In each case, we told these people that God would in no way authorize this kind of sinful behavior and that they could not act on it, as this word was not coming in from the Lord. This word was either coming in from their own imagination and their own desires, since they were no longer happy in their marriages, or it was coming in from a demon.

c)  Another very interesting area where this test will come into play is when a Christian is dating an unbeliever. They then all of a sudden think they have received a release and a word from the Lord to marry this person, even though their partner still has not been saved and still has not shown any interests on getting saved.

Again, the Bible tells us not to be yoked together with unbelievers, and if you marry this unbeliever, you are definitely going to be yoked together with them, thus violating this basic command from the Bible.

Unless God is making a strong move to get your dating partner saved, I would never commit to marrying this person, as the Bible is very clear on this command. Once again, here is this verse if you were not aware that it was in the Bible:

“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God.” (2 Corinthians 6:14)

I had a friend from work who married an unbeliever and within one year, the entire marriage blew up and she was divorced several months later. There was no anointing on this marriage because God never authorized it in the first place because she was violating this basic verse from Scripture on not being yoked together with an unbeliever.

I could go on and on with more examples, but the point to get is to make sure the word you are receiving is lining up with the Bible. If you are a bit weak in the Bible, then talk to your pastor or to another Christian who does know their Bible and then run the word by them. They should be able to tell you if the word is lining up with Scripture or not.

2. Does the Word Line Up With the Character of God?

Another basic test that you have to use is to make sure the word you are receiving is lining up with the character and personality of God Himself. In other words, is this something that God would really ask you to do or tell you to do? Is this one of His ways?

The closer you get to God in your own personal relationship with Him, and the more time you spend reading the Bible, the better you will get to know God. And the better you get to know God, the better you will be able to see and discern if a word is lining up with His character and personality.

Many Christians get burned in this area because they are not walking close to God nor have they spent much time in the Bible. As a result, they really do not know God and they thus are easier pickings for demons to give them false words of guidance.

Again, if you think you are receiving a word, but you may not be really close to God, ask several other Christians who do have close walks with the Lord and who do know their Bible and their God. They should be able to help you with the word you think you are receiving.

Where this particular test will come in is when you receive a word, but there is really nothing in Scripture on it. If there is nothing in the Bible on it, then you will really need to apply this test to it to see if the word is lining up with the character and personality of God Himself.

3. Does the Word Line Up With What God is Doing With Your Life?

Sometimes the word you may receive has to be analyzed to see if it will fit into what God has already been doing with your life. The Bible tells us that God is one One who will build the “house” of our lives. As a result, any word that you receive that has to do with your big picture with the Lord has to be carefully analyzed and see if it fits into what God has already been doing with your life.

If God is calling you to be an attorney, and He is building you up in that area so you can enter into that calling when the time is right, God is not going to be throwing you a curve ball and all of a sudden ask you to go off into the far reaches of Africa to do missionary work for the next 20 years of your life.

If God is going to put a call on your life, then He is going to carefully build you up in that call so you can enter into it when the time is right. Demons love to try and knock Christians off course by trying to give them a false word to try something else different so they can knock them right out of their calls with the Lord.

There have been documented cases of Christians thinking they have received a word from the Lord to go off and be missionaries. Without seeking or getting any type of confirmation that this word was really from the Lord, they immediately pack up their bags and leave for the missionary fields. And then a year or two later, they are flat broke, all beat up, and they then return back home with absolutely no success on the missionary fields.

The reason they were not successful was because God never called them to do this in the first place. And since God never called them to do this, there was no anointing on their efforts. And with there being no anointing to do this, they had no basic protection, provision, favor, money, or supplies coming to them when they were needing it.

In other words, there was no divine support for them because they were out of the will of God and they were either following their own imaginations and desires, or they got played and duped by a demon. That is why you have to carefully analyze and test any type of divine communication you think you are receiving – to make sure that it really is the Lord talking to you and not your own imagination and desires, or possibly a demon.

Again, if you are receiving a word from the Lord that has to do with what He is calling you to do in this life, make sure that you carefully analyze this word to see if it fits into what He has already been doing with your life and with what He has already built up in your life.

4. Does Your Spirit Bear Witness With the Word?

As we explained to you in our article, “How to be Led by the Holy Spirit,” the number one way the Holy Spirit will communicate to you in this life is through the inner witness – the inner knowing. If you are receiving a true word from the Lord, the Holy Spirit should be bearing witness with that word out of your own human spirit.

So the next test will be – does your own spirit bear good witness with the word, since the Holy Spirit lives in your human spirit and that is where He will be bearing witness at.

If you are not getting a good witness from the Holy Spirit, or the witness feels really flat and dull, then stop and ask God the Father for confirmation to make sure this word is really coming from Him. Not getting a good witness from the Holy Spirit is always a major red flag, since the Holy Spirit is always in perfect unity and harmony with both God the Father and Jesus Christ.

5. There is Safety in the Multitude of Counselors

Another test you can use is to run the word by a few other seasoned Christians who really know their Bible and their God. The Bible tells us that there is safety in the multitude of counselors. Sometimes another seasoned Christian will be able to see something with the word that you are not seeing.

Here are several good verses from the Bible telling us that we can do this with the Lord:

  • “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14)
  • “A wise man is strong, yes, a man of knowledge increases strength; for by wise counsel you will wage your own war, and in a multitude of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 24:5)
  • “Every purpose is established by counsel; by wise counsel wage war.” (Proverbs 20:18)
  • “Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established.” (Proverbs 15:22)
  • “Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days.” (Proverbs 19:20)
  • “Cease listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge.” (Proverbs 19:27)

As you can see from the way these verses are being worded, God does want you to consult with other wise and seasoned Christians from time to time depending on exactly what it is that you are dealing with.

And sometimes when you think you are receiving a word from the Lord, you may need to run this word by a few of these wise and seasoned Christians so you can make sure that you are reading the word correctly, and that the word is really coming in from the Lord and not from a demon or your own mind and imagination.

So if need be, do not be afraid to run your word by a few other wise Christians if you are not 100% sure the word is from the Lord. Sometimes a fresh pair of eyes are needed to see what the real truth is and whether or not the word is truly coming from the Lord.

This is why the Lord has given us the above verses, to let us know that sometimes we will need help from other Christians due to our own imperfections and possible shortsightedness.

6. Ask God to Confirm the Word For You

Another big thing you can do if you are not quite sure the word is from the Lord is to just go back to God in prayer and ask Him to confirm His word for you.

This is one area that gets many Christians into major trouble. They receive a quick word, but instead of properly testing it and/or asking God to help confirm the word for them, they immediately take off running with the word. And if that word was not from the Lord, they then end up taking a major wrong turn in their life and serious damage can be done as a result.

Marrying the wrong person because you did not wait for more confirmation from God, or taking the wrong job at the wrong time could all lead to disastrous results. The bigger and more serious the word is, the more you have to properly test it and get God’s confirmation to make sure that it really is Him talking to you.

Many Christians have ended up marrying the wrong people in this life because they did not wait for God’s confirmation to the original word. Again, demons love nothing more than to try and knock you off course by trying to get you to marry the wrong person or take the wrong jobs in this life. This is why you should never be afraid to ask God to confirm His own word for you.

The way God can confirm His own Word for you can be done in many different ways.

The Bible says that out of the mouth of two or three witnesses every word will be established. What people have found out is that sometimes God will cause two or three witnesses to come up to you in close proximity and basically tell you the same thing that God told you in the original word.

These two or three witnesses could be total strangers or people you already know, but in either case, they will know nothing about the original word that was given to you by the Lord.

Another way God could confirm the word for you is through the gift of prophesy. All of sudden you will have someone prophesying over you telling you basically the same thing you were told with the original word. Many times prophecy is used by God to help confirm what was already given to you by Him. And the person prophesying over you will have no prior knowledge of the original word given to you by the Lord.

When you get a person prophesying over you, or two or three witnesses coming up to you who have no prior knowledge of what God had told you – and they then tell you basically the same thing that God had originally told you – this will be so supernatural, that is how you will know that it really was God talking to you in the first place and not your own imagination or a demon.

God can also use dreams, visions, or possibly a very strong witness from the Holy Spirit Himself to help confirm for you that the word was really from Him.

Again, just ask God to confirm the word for you if you are not sure, and then watch and wait for that confirmation to come to you if the word was truly from the Lord. You will know the confirmation when it does come to you from the Lord. You will not be able to miss it, because many of these confirmations will be so supernatural and “so in your face.”

7. Will the Word Glorify God?

Another test you will want to use is to make sure any words, messages, or guidance you are receiving from the Lord will always bring Him all of the glory. Always remember – we work, live, and die for the Lord. We work for Him in this life, not for ourselves or for our own glory.

Many secular men and woman in this world only work for their own self-interests and their own glory in this life. It is all about them, and anything they achieve and accomplish in this life is all for their own ego.

They work for themselves, they do not work for God. As Christians, we always have to remember that these divine calls and assignments are all coming direct from the Lord, not from us or the world in general.

As a result, we always have to remember that we work for the Lord in this life, not for ourselves, our parents, our friends, or the world in general. This is why you always have to make sure that anything you do in this life will always bring all of the glory to the Lord.

Demons are all about their own glory and their own self-exaltation, as that is what got Satan thrown out of heaven.

As a result, they will try to get people to think it is all about them rather than the Lord. Satan fell as a result of this kind of prideful, evil, and wrong thinking, and he still wants to try and bring down as many people as he can through this same type of prideful and evil thinking.

The devil’s tactics are always the same. Inflate the ego, get major pride worked into someone’s personality, and then it won’t be long until that person takes his eyes off God and then places it all on his own self. And from there, it will only be a matter of time before they fall and lose it all, as the Bible tells us that pride and a haughty spirit will come before the fall.

Here are 5 very good verses showing us that all of the glory always belongs to the Lord, not to us:

  • “I am the Lord, that is My name; and My glory I will not give to another, nor My praise to graven images.” (Isaiah 42:8)
  • “Therefore let no one glory in men. For all things all yours …” (1 Corinthians 3:21)
  • “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)
  • ” … that no flesh should glory in His presence.” (1 Corinthians 1:29)
  • “So on a set day Herod, arrayed in royal apparel, sat on his throne and gave an oration to them. And the people kept shouting, “The voice of a god and not of a man!” Then immediately an angel of the Lord struck him, because he did not give glory to God. And he was eaten by worms and died.” ( Acts 12:22-23)

The very last verse is rather bone-chilling, as an angel of the Lord literally struck a man dead as a result of him trying to steal the glory that only belongs to the Lord.

By always remembering to make sure that all of your activities for God always bring Him all of the glory, this will really help you in making sure that you never take your eyes and attention off the Lord and then start to place too much of it on your own self.

8. Will the Word Produce Liberty or Bondage?

The last test you will want to use on any type of word you think you are receiving is to make sure the word will lead to liberty and not to any type of bondage and fear.

The Bible says that where the Spirit of the Lord is at, there is liberty and freedom.

Here is this most important verse, along with two others that will show you that the Lord is all about liberty and freedom – not fear, intimidation, and bondage.

  • “Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” (2 Corinthians 3:17)
  • “For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father!” (Romans 8:15)
  • “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me … to proclaim liberty to the captives and the opening of the prison to those who are bound …” (Isaiah 61:1)

If you are a Christian woman dating a Christian man, and this man has been severely verbally abusing you during most of your dating life, and then all of a sudden you think you are receiving a word from the Lord to marry this man, this word will have major red flags all over it.

If you are in a verbally abusive relationship, you are in a certain amount of bondage. And if you marry this man, you will go into even more bondage, as you will now have to put up with that verbal abuse 24/7 as compared to what you had to put up with in the dating relationship.

Unless God is making a strong move to get your partner cleaned up, I would not commit to marrying this kind of man, as many of the times the abuse will only get worse once you marry him.

Too many women marry abusive men thinking or hoping they will change once they get married. But most of the time they never do unless God Himself makes a strong move to convict them and get them cleaned up.

Again, demons would love nothing more than to try and get you to marry into an abusive relationship so they can use this abusive person to try and control you and completely destroy your life. That is why you always have to make sure that any words you are receiving from the Lord will lead to liberty and freedom, not to any type of bondage, fear, or slavery.

Conclusion

If you use the above 8 tests to test any type of divine communication you think you are receiving, they should for the most part be able to tell you what is truly coming from the Lord, and what may be coming from your own natural desires and imagination, or from a demonic spirit.

Again, it is extremely important that you test all supernatural communication you think you are receiving, as believing and acting on a false word could either destroy your life, or cause major delays to occur with what God is doing with your life.

If demons cannot kill you, they will either try and paralyze you, or knock you off the path that God has set up for your life.

That is why all supernatural communication has to be tested – to make sure that it really is coming in from the Lord and not from your own imagination or from a demon.

Many Christians have been seriously burned and hurt because they did not properly test a word that was coming to them. They have either married the wrong people, took the wrong jobs, or hung out with the wrong people.

As a result, they either lost their calls and their divine destinies with the Lord, or they lost valuable years in that call due to having to deal with the consequences and repercussions of making those wrong turns in the roadway.

And this was all because they jumped the gun too quickly and did not properly test the word they were receiving – especially words of actual guidance like who they should be marrying and what jobs they should be taking in this life.

We do not want to scare anyone away from learning how to hear from God and how to be led by Him in this life. Every Christian can learn how to do this, but you always have to remember that we still live in a fallen, cursed, and imperfect world with demons still being allowed to roam in the air.

As a result, we always have to filter any type of supernatural communication we think we are receiving through some of the above tests so we can make sure that we are on safe ground and that the word we have received has truly come to us from the Lord.

Joel Stroup

Saturday 6th of November 2021

Hi I have questions on visions and dreams I’m having and some have been fullfilled I would really like your input to the supernatural communication I am getting in the return of Jesus Christ

Anonymous

Thursday 24th of December 2020

Um, I'm kind of new to testing things that I think are words and I just had a question about confirmation that I was hopping someone might see and be about answer: When you ask the Lord to confirm his Word, how long should wait for confirmation before you accepting it was a false leading?

Que

Wednesday 3rd of March 2021

God tells us in His Word to wait to hear from Him and be patient. Do not tarry. Gods direction of time is different from ours. One day to us may be a thousand years to him. Also patience is a characteristic of God and from Him to us so we have to show Him we have that no matter how long it takes cause it also shows that we truly put this situation in His hands to handle when we asked for him to confirm it. It’s all about building our spiritual character and bond with him. You have to trust that he will do it at the right time. Sometimes we look to hard and the answer was in our face the whole time so just make sure you go through His Word first and see if it lines up with that. Then ask for confirmation. I hope this helps.

K

Saturday 12th of December 2020

This may be a stupid question, but with confirmation from two or three witness, does it have to be in person? Or could it be over social media. And in that case, does it have to addressed directly to you, or can it be a post or comment that wasn't specifically sent to you? I'm kind of embarrassed that I have to ask this.

Virginia

Saturday 2nd of January 2021

I wonder the exact same thing. The tricky part with social media is that everything is linked to your call, search, and text activities. I'm going through something and I "miraculously" have youtube recommendations out the woodworks and they come from both sides of the track. In my opinion...unless there is a strong knowing from the Holy Spirit when you see something, I wouldn't put too much weight on things posted online. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way discrediting the ways in which God moves to show us things. I would just use extra caution. Much love.

Maryam

Wednesday 9th of December 2020

Thank you for this message because I am a Christian who married a Christian man despite all of the Red Flags the Holy Spirit revealed to me. My gut was telling me not to do it and so were my family and friends. He was controlling, and verbally and emotionally abusive towards me. Needless to say the abuse escalated after the marriage and after months of praying and fasting, seeking out Godly counsel and my ex husband's refusal to get counseling or reconcile, we divorced. Now I am broken, praying for my ex daily and I don't know whether to continue praying and hoping for reconciliation. He lives far away from me and has completely cut me out of his life. He seems happy to be free and has said so to his friends. I love him and keep asking God to confirm whether I should keep hoping for reconciliation. So far I have not seen any movement.

Geno

Saturday 30th of January 2021

Hi Maryam the only thing I can give you keep on praying plead the blood of Jesus over your marriage in the name of Jesus and get some true Chritians women in your church to help you pray do not listen to nobody telling you to move on never give up ask God to give you confirmation about what to do. Stay focused stay encouraged and be blessed

Virginia

Saturday 2nd of January 2021

You haven't received an answer because as of right now, your ex has answered for you. If God wants you two together it will come back around with evidence that he is truly delivered of his issues. In the meantime, I would say one good prayer for him and move on. God may just have something absolutely better waiting for you. You're hindering that by hanging on. It's okay to let go. Much love.

Christine

Saturday 28th of December 2019

This is a very important teaching, and comes at a time when I really needed it (but isn't that God's way?!).

Neither I nor my (ex) husband were Christians when we married many years ago; thus, whether or not we should have married was moot. You might say we were at the disposal of the "world, the flesh, and the devil," as it were, in our ways and means of making decisions.

I got saved three years into the marriage (just before I left him the first time for physical and verbal abuse). I had no options, or so I thought, so I went back after three days (pregnant, no money, and a toddler in tow, not connected yet with any particular church and thousands of miles away from home).

God began a long-term work of transforming me "from the inside out," as I "grew up in Christ," as it were.

Although the physical abuse stopped after I left that time (for three days until my money ran out and I could no long stay in my "safe house"), the verbal abuse did not. He was a "Jekyll/Hyde." Many aspects of the marriage were good, but I never knew when the verbal abuse would crop up...

Many years later, decades in fact, I left him the second time, with a clear and confirmed word from the Lord. Long story. But it was after the last time he "turned on me" verbally (as if we were back in the very early years), and began to display an almost palpable contempt. I had no idea why the "turn." As far as I knew, I hadn't "done something wrong,"

For the (unbeknownst to me just then) last time, I prayed, "Lord, my heart for him is crushed, empty, gone. Again. Please, again, give me Your heart for my husband."

God has always answered that prayer in ways that blessed me, him, and our family.

As a kind of afterthought, I added this addendum, "And, Lord, could You somehow bring this to an end?"

I had no thought of leaving him, divorcing, separating, death, or anything else in mind. This was after being married and experiencing many works of the Lord over--forty years. Yes. Forty.

I was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, empty. There were two other extended family crises occurring at the same time, I was still working, and physically simply did not have the stamina to endure anything else.

I waited, one more time, for God's (always) answer to ease yet another crisis and make something good happen again...

A couple of weeks later, my ex husband blew up at me in one, last, cruel, "out of the blue" horrific diatribe of insults and false accusations, the likes of which I hadn't heard from him since before the first time I left him, many years prior.

I wasn't perfect, of course, but I was a vastly different person since first I asked God into my life decades prior and He began to change me in many ways.

This time, I left. I initiated a divorce. Solid Christian friends confirmed this was God's will.

It has been a long, grueling, but restorative, transformational, healing, recovering, and blessed period of cocooning in the Lord's comfort, provision, and grace these past, now, over seven years since.

It seems as if, however, the Lord is back in our relationship to at least restore a friendship. This to me reveals that His work of healing, forgiveness, and reconciliation has been working. A kind of "post test" you might say.

The question for me, now, is "does this mean we are to remarry?"

I have no clear guidance on this yet.

Our restored friendship has blessed our family in certain ways (we have grown children) who have nevertheless been seemlessly loving and supportive toward us both in the painful but necessary, I believer, interim.

Also very important here is that after God delivered me from that verbally abusive relationship, my ex husband got Christian counseling, has been attending church, men's Bible studies, and so on. Our children have mentioned his dramatic change.

He has also stopped drinking.

God, however, "kept me safe," as I would put it, for nearly all this time while I healed and recovered.

Recently, as noted, I felt this new "friendship direction" was "of the Lord," in the ways I recognized other events and impressions being "of the Lord" through my close to fifty years walk with Him.

He has owned his verbal abuse. He knows my "deal breakers" (verbal abuse and alcoholism).He has apologized...

He claims responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage over time. He has received Christian counseling in the interim. Our times together for a few months, now, though not many, have revealed, indeed, a new him. But I do not have any further leadings.

So I am now wondering and waiting on God's direction.

He is not asking to remarry. I am spiritually very wary, still. And I feel no compunction to remarry at this point.

Although God's Word teaches on reconciliation, there is not much guidance for this situtuation in "the real world," as it were, and what such reconciliation would be.

There are certainly Scriptural examples of believers being wary of, and staying away from, people who previously "harmed" God's people. Even Ananias (Acts 9:13-17) "reminded" God about Paul when God directed Ananias to go to Paul and lay hands on him.

Although preachers tend to preach on A's "lack of faith in God," I fell there is also a message of "testing the spirits" in Ananias' response and God honored that by confirming His Word about Paul...

It's one thing to be a believer and marry an unbeliever, and a very different "other thing" to both be unbelievers, then one becomes a Christian, and then the serious spiritual business begins.

Is the "other" going to, indeed, get saved? We just don't know that.

More importantly, perhaps, is the other not only going to get saved, but will he/she also truly forsake his/her abusive ways?

So, as you see, my story and query for God's guidance is from a very different stance. But your words have given me additional perspective.

Forgiveness and reconciliation can occur, in God's time and through His transformative work in our lives, but there are unique situations that still require remaining very close to Him and seeking His guidance.

Thank you for reading my lengthy response, but I feel as if my story is not really all that uncommon. It is rare, however.

I will remain single, reconciled to the point that now exists, but I still have not heard to enter into any other closer relationship with my ex husband, although he now, and to date, does, indeed, seem very changed.

Be assured, I will take as long a time as I feel the Lord will have me take to make any decisions. I am perfectly content in the life God has blessed me with. I have learned many hard lessons about "waiting on the Lord" and I don't intend to forget them.

My "counselors" (as in, "the wisdom of many...) who have been there for me and with me for the interim, advise, "be cautious."

In Christ (and oh, soooooooo grateful to be in Him),

A sister in Christ.

Geno

Saturday 30th of January 2021

God bless you sister in Christ I agreed with Stella and I want to add read 1 Corinthians 7:10 when God said a wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. God bless you and your family. Your brother in Christ. Geno N

Julie Anne

Monday 16th of November 2020

Thank you for this. Came to me at the perfect time when I need it most. I'm trying to reconnect and resurrect my relationship with God.

I am crying because I've broken His heart the last few years. I want to get closer to Him and His word came to me for the first time tonight in a very long time. He told me to test everything with His word.... well, how am I gonna know what is word if I'm not reading it!?

So, I ended up here. The wonderful rabbit hole of the internet and Bible app.

Thank you. I very much appreciate this and you definitely heard from the Holy Spirit on this one.

Stella

Saturday 17th of October 2020

Thank you for sharing, be patient and continue to seek those around for good counseling. I pray that GODS will be done in your life as to your ex-husband and remember GOD can do all things including the changes that you have seen in your ex-husband. Put GOD first and HE will give you all of your hearts desires. The real question must be if the both of you have forgiven each other to move forward if it's reconciliation, because if there is no true forgiveness, it's doomed before it starts. So analaze your heart, motives, feelings if they are not of GOD or not edifying or encouraging to the both, remain friends, coparents & move forward IN JESUS MIGHTY NAME I PRAY that the Holy Spirit that resides in you guides, protects your mind, body and soul for FATHER GODS GLORY AMEN