I recently received an email from someone asking how can a Christian really handle negative feelings and emotions when wronged by someone else – especially if the wrong was really evil.
The Bible tells us that God is asking all of His people to live on a higher level than the nonbeliever. The Bible tells us to forgive those who will trespass against us, to turn the other cheek if warranted, to love our enemies, and to do good to those who will deliberately hurt us.
God is so insistent on us being able to forgive those who will hurt us, that He tells us that He will not even hear our prayers and forgive us of our own trespsasses if we are holding any unforgiveness toward anyone else.
However, as we all know through real life experiences, all of the above commands by the Lord are easier said than actually done. How do you handle negative feelings such as anger, bitterness, the desire to seek revenge, and sometimes outright hatred towards someone who has viciously wronged you?
How do you handle and get a grip on these types of negative feelings and emotions when:
- Some drunk driver has just killed your son or your spouse
- Someone has just abducted and killed your daughter or son
- Your husband has been physically abusing you for years in your marriage
- Some scam artist has just stolen all of your life’s savings
- You have just found out that your spouse has been cheating on you
All of the above scenarios are torpedo shots that can knock anyone of us straight to the ground.
However, how we handle these types of adversities and how we bounce back from them will determine the quality of our lives with what time we still have left.
If you do not get a grip on these negative emotions when they start to try and settle on the inside of you as a result of a vicious wrong – then these negative emotions will start to eat you up alive the same way cancer will eat and ravage a human body.
These negative emotions will steal most, if not all of your joy, love, and peace that you have obtained as a result of your close walk with the Lord.
Some Christians will even lose their faith or their close personal relationship with God as a result of taking this kind of serious hit.They get mad at God. They start questioning God. How could He allow this wrong to occur? Why didn’t He protect them?
When I first made the discovery that the Holy Spirit is alive and well on the inside of each believer and that it was His job to transmit knowledge to us in this life, I started tapping in and asking questions on many different topics and issues.
The Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit will “teach us all things” and “guide us into all truth.” The Holy Spirit can and will communicate to those who will seek after His knowledge.
I went directly to God the Father on all of the above and asked Him – how can someone possibly get a grip on some of the above scenarios where some of these attacks are so vicious and so evil?
How can you ever forgive someone who has just mugged you or killed a close loved one, much less ever get over the anger, wrath, and bitterness that will settle in on you as a result of this type of extreme trauma?
I believe the Lord has given me very good insight and a bottom line answer on this dilemma. Again, this answer came in the form of a one-two punch – it has two sides to it.
In order to be able to truly forgive someone, and to be able to truly let them go into hands of God where you can then get an “inner healing” on all of the negative emotions that may have built up in you over the course of time, there are two things that each Christian must get a firm and solid grasp on. These two principles are as follows.
The Big Picture
The first thing each Christian must “realize and see” is what I call the big picture. You first have to step away from your problem and see things for the way they really are.
Bottom line – the time that we will all spend on this earth is just a blink of an eye compared to the time that we will all be spending in eternity once we die and cross over. Heaven is for eternity – our life on this earth is just for a very brief moment compared to the eternal time frame that is operating up in heaven.
The Bible tells us that not only is God our Father – but He is also a Judge. And as a Judge, He will be judging every single one of us when we die and cross over – which includes both Christians and nonbelievers.
When Christians die and cross over, the Bible tells us that we all have to appear before the Judgment Seat of Christ to directly face Jesus for all the good and bad things that we have ever done in this life. This judgment will not cast us into hell since we have all been saved and born again through the blood of Jesus. However, I have a very funny feeling that this judgment that will be rendered upon each Christian will somehow determine what kind of reward and place they will have in heaven.
Per the article I recently did titled, “Rewards in Heaven,” the Bible says that there will be crowns and rewards for those who have done good in this life as compared to those who have done very little with the allotted amount of time that has been given to each one of us in this life.
This is why you can let any evil wrong go into the hands of God.
When everything is all finally said and done, God will be the final judge on all matters, and He will be the One to right all of the wrongs that have ever been done to you – whether it be from another Christian or nonbeliever.
The Bible tells us that “Vengeance belongs to the Lord” – not to us!
It is God’s job and responsibility to right all of the wrongs ever done to us in this lifetime – not ours!
God will be getting even for you!
This is why each Christian can truly let any wrongs go into the hands of God the Father.
You have to believe that God will properly handle each of the wrongs that have ever been done against you in this life.
In the case of the nonbeliever, the Bible tells us that all of them will be pulled up out of hell at the end of the 1000 Year Millennium Kingdom to face God for what is called the Great White Throne Judgment.
The Bible says there is a Book that records all of our works and deeds that are done in this life, and God will be judging each one of these nonbelievers according to all of their works and deeds. The implication is that most, if not all of them, will be thrown into the Lake of Fire and Brimstone where the smoke of their torment will ascend forever and ever.
If someone has abused you, or murdered a close loved one – many of these evil people will end up being cast into the Lake of Fire and Brimstone, and that will be for all of eternity! Justice will have been more than done for you in some of these more extreme cases where their final fate and end will be them being cast into the most horrible place imaginable for all of eternity!
When you watch some of these criminal court cases on TV – closure is only partially granted to the victims when the murderer has been caught and successfully tried and prosecuted.
Depending on the state where the trial takes place, the convicted murderer will either get life in prison without the possibility of parole or the death penalty if that state has it.
When the victims of these evil crimes are interviewed after the jury verdict comes in, they all say they feel some relief and closure as a result of this person getting caught.
However, the victims of these types of extreme crimes are now stuck with the task of getting their lives back in order, and they will now have to deal with all of the negative emotions that have settled in and built up in them over this course in time.
If they do not get a proper grip on these intense negative emotions and some kind of inner healing on them – they will spend the rest of their earthly lives with a lot of their love, joy, and peace either completely gone or seriously diminished in the Lord.
So the first thing each Christian must grab a hold of if faced with this kind of worst case scenario is that even though the criminal just got caught, tried, convicted, and properly sentenced – that is just the beginning.
Where the real judgment will occur is when that person dies and crosses over to meet his Maker – God Almighty Himself!
This person will then face their ultimate and final judgment for the serious wrong they have inflicted upon you, and this judgment may then possibly get them thrown into the real hell for all of eternity!
Once you fully grasp and realize that God will eventually be judging each person that has seriously wronged you in this life – then you can truly let the matter go into His hands.
It’s finished as far as you are concerned! It’s a done deal!
This is why God tells us in the Bible to cast all of our cares and burdens upon Him, because it His job to take complete care of them for us and to right all of the wrongs where they do exist.
Sometimes God will right the wrong for you in this lifetime. The person who has wronged you will reap the consequences of his actions, and God will make sure that those consequences hit him full force while he is still living down here on this earth.
Other times, this person will not face the eternal consequences of their actions until after they die and they come before God for their own personal judgment. Some people will literally get away with cold-blooded murder in this life. The police or the criminal justice system will never catch them.
However, their days are numbered in this life, and as soon as they die and cross over, they will all have to face God Almighty Himself for their ultimate and final judgment.
It always amazes me that so many criminals think they can just live out this life doing whatever they want, and think they can actually get away with it because they have managed to evade the law for such a long period of time. Boy are they going to be in for a big surprise when they die and cross over and find out what is really waiting for them on the other side!
However, even if you have grasped and believed in all of the above, you are still left with one more problem. You now know God will eventually be righting all of the wrongs ever done to you when it is all finally said and done.
However, how do you get rid of the negative feelings that have settled in on you as a result of experiencing some of these vicious wrongs?
You know God does not want you carrying around feelings of hate, anger, wrath, bitterness, and depression.
You keep telling yourself that you are not going to allow these types of feelings and emotions to have any part of you – but no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to get any victory over them.
You can still feel these negative emotions rolling around down in your soul and spirit. These negative emotions and feelings continue to rob you of your joy, peace, and love for God and others.
You have lost your zest for life and you just can’t seem to get it back – no matter how hard you try, no matter how many pep talks you give yourself, no matter how much you pray to God and talk to others about it, and no matter how many counselors you see.
You feel like you are carrying around a 50-pound anchor around your waist.
Everything is a chore.
Nothing brings you any happiness anymore.
You hardly ever smile anymore.
These negative emotions are eating you up alive on the inside. You feel like you are a walking dead man, a zombie.
You are really trying to forgive the father who has sexually abused you during your childhood years – but you just cannot seem to really do it no matter how hard you try.
These negative feelings are like a “yoke” – they just seem to keep sticking to you on the inside. The Bible talks about the “yoke of bondage.” These negative feelings have you bound up and you cannot seem to break them off you.
So what is the answer? How do you break these negative feelings off of you?
There is only one way and that leads us to the second principle of this one-two punch and that is the right cross – the power of the Holy Spirit!
The Power of the Holy Spirit
We as human beings only have a certain amount of natural strength, not only within our natural physical bodies, but also within our souls and spirits where our intellect and emotions reside.
Each person only has a limited amount of mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical strength at their disposal.
Some people can bounce back from adversity better and quicker than others. We have all seen that. However, we all have our personal breaking points, no matter how strong we think we are.
We can only lift so much with our physical bodies, no matter how many steroids a bodybuilder may take.
We all have different levels of mental and emotional strength. Some are stronger in their minds than others. We see this mental strength in many of our professional athletes.
Some of these athletes can do and accomplish things a normal person cannot do – not only because they are physically stronger, but also because they are mentally stronger. They do not give up as quickly as someone else would.
How many times have we seen professional athletes amaze us when in the heat of extreme adversity, they plow through on sheer will power and mental strength to achieve total victory?
Some are also stronger in their emotions than others. We can see this in the different ways people react to severe tragedy. Some people can bounce back quicker and they do not hold any grudges against anyone for the tragedy. Life is too short for them to dwell on the negative aspects of the tragedy, and they would prefer to press on with the rest of their life and let the past go. Others cannot do that as easily.
They cannot let the past go. They do not have the emotional strength to get a grip on the negative emotions that have settled in on them. Before they know it, they are mired down into a depression, and they are holding grudges against the wrongdoers and are mad at everything and everybody in the world.
They cannot get over the negative feelings they are experiencing and before long, they have lost all of their joy and zest for living.
Too many Christians are in this second boat. They have been hit with some serious torpedoes and they cannot seem to get back up to start living again. The negative emotions that have set in on them are literally killing them!
Many in the medical profession believe that negative emotions can help lead to cancer and other various diseases and illnesses. Not only can these negative emotions kill you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually – but they can also lead to diseases and illnesses that can physically kill you.
To those Christians who cannot seem to get back up and get over the evil wrongs done to them by others, who do not have enough mental, emotional, and spiritual strength within their own makeup to work these negative emotions out of themselves – there is only one answer for them.
They have to tell God that they do not have the strength within their own emotional and mental makeup, and that they need His supernatural power to pull all of these negative emotions and feelings out of them.
If you go direct to God the Father with a sincere request to help you out with this kind of a dilemma – God will help deliver you from the bondage of these negative emotions and feelings. God will literally do “inner spiritual surgery” on you to help pull these negative emotions out of you.
However, you first have to go direct to God the Father and ask Him to release this kind of deliverance power to you, which He will do through the power of the Holy Spirit.
The Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit is our Helper. He is there to help us out on anything that we may need His help on.
And one of the things that He loves to get involved in is the transformation-sanctification process to make you into a better and more holy person – both mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
When you ask God to take these kinds of negative emotions out of you – it can sometimes happen very quickly – possibly within seconds, minutes, days or weeks.
Or it could take a bit longer, perhaps spread out over several months, which would be more of a progressive type healing. God is the Surgeon, so let Him decide how He wants to work this inner surgery and how long He wants to take to do it with you.
You will still have full “memory” of the anger you may have felt against someone who has wronged you, but you will no longer feel that anger. God has miraculously and supernaturally removed the “feelings” of that emotion from you. This is what is called an inner healing.
So many Christians are mired down in depressions as a result of some vicious torpedoes that have hit them. If they would only simply approach God the Father in sincere prayer and ask Him for His power to heal them on the inside.
He would be more than happy to meet them all the way and clean them up on the inside.
But these Christians are not getting this type of deliverance from God simply because they have never approached and asked Him specifically for this kind of deliverance.
The Bible says “You have not because you ask not.” Many times, God will not move in with His deliverance power on your situation until you first ask Him to do so in prayer. Sometimes it really is that simple!
Too many Christians are running to psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors, not to mention the drug store for their favorite tranquilizer or anti-depressant medication. The number one selling prescription drug for the year 2001 was anti-depressant medication! And I have to believe there were many Christians in that boat.
The Bible calls Him the “Counselor.” And not only are His services completely free, but the Holy Spirit is God and Lord Himself, and as God, He has maximum power to deliver you from any problems that can come your way – whether they be mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical.
The Holy Spirit can also get at the root of your problems – especially when you get into the emotional realm of your being. He will pull these negative feelings out at the roots so they do not keep coming back on you. Anti-depressants just cover and mask the problem. They never get at the root of the problem.
The same with doctors and counselors. They can talk all day long about your problem – but they do not have God’s full supernatural power to literally pull these emotions out at their roots to bring about a full inner healing on these negative emotions.
Neither you, the doctors, or any type of drug can do this for you – only God can!
The above principle also applies to trying to forgive someone who has seriously wronged you. You know God wants you to forgive this person, but your feelings are not lining up with what is coming out of your mouth.
You tell God you have forgiven this person, but yet you still feel the anger and bitterness against this person.
What you do in this case is to tell God, with a confession out of your mouth, that you will forgive this person – even if your do not really feel like you have forgiven this person within your own feelings and emotions. God will take and accept the confession out of your mouth that you have truly forgiven this person, even if your feelings are not lining up with this confession.
But then you go to part two and ask God to take these negative feelings of unforgiveness out of you, and He will do it just like He will do with your other negative emotions.
All of a sudden, after a certain length of time, you will feel it on the inside of your heart and spirit that you have now truly forgiven this person and that you are no longer holding any grudges or feelings of anger, bitterness, or resentment toward this person.
The Bible tells us that no one is fit for the kingdom of God if they keep looking back on their past and dwelling on it.
The apostle Paul says that he forgets those things that are behind him and continues to press forward for the things that now lie ahead of him.
The Bible tells us that Jesus has come to set the captives free – and one of the greatest areas of captivity for many of us is in our own minds.
The Bible tells us that a man is as he thinks. In other words, you can become what you think. Your thought life, what you think about and dwell on, can make or break you in this life.
This is why the Bible tells us that we are actually transformed by the renewing of our minds. You have to learn how to develop right thinking in your mind and thought process.
I will end this article with some good Scripture verses on all of the above points. Some of these verses have already been mentioned in some of my other articles, but for the sake of this article and the specific points being talked about, I will go ahead and state these verses once again due to the extreme importance of each of them.
The Scripture Verses
For those of you who are really battling with yourself on being able to get over the hurts and injustices of your past, really study and meditate on the following verses.
The Scripture verses I will list below are giving you Jesus’ truths on this particular subject matter. These divine truths can work to set you free in this realm if you will do your part and assimilate these truths into your way of thinking in this life.
1. The Judgment of God
Here are several good verses showing us that we will all appear before the Judgment Seat of Christ after we die and cross over – no exceptions! Notice this first verse says that “every secret thing” and that “every work,” whether it be good or evil, will be brought before God for His judgment.
Thus anyone who has unjustly wronged you in this life will have to answer to God when they face Him for their own personal judgment if that wrong has not been confessed and forgiven before they die and cross over. I believe all of these verses are literal interpretation and they mean exactly what they are saying!
- “For God will bring every work into judgment, including every secret thing, whether it is good or whether it is evil.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13)
- “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.” (2 Corinthians 5:10)
- “And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.” (Hebrews 4:13)
If more people knew about these kinds of verses and the seriousness of each of these verses, more people would think twice before deciding to unjustly attack or hurt another person.
2. Letting Go of the Past
Here are two very good verses on God wanting us to let go of the things in our past and to continue to press forward to accomplish His perfect divine plan for our lives. The first verse is from the apostle Paul and the second verse is coming direct from Jesus Himself.
- “… but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14)
- But Jesus said to him, “No one having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62)
Life is simply way too short to be wallowing in the hurts and injustices of your past. God will be righting all of the wrongs ever done to you in this life. This is why you can fully let go of your past and start fully living again in your present.
3. You Are What You think
Here is a short, but very powerful Scripture verse telling us that a man will become as he “thinks” in his heart. If you think and dwell on happy and positive type thoughts, then you will become a happy and positive type person. However, if all you do is think about and dwell on the negative side of this life, then you will become a negative and depressive type person where people will not even want to be around you. Here is the verse:
“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7)
The Bible says that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds. We have to learn how to develop right thinking in our thought process. Our thought process does not control us, we control it! We can choose to decide what we want to think about and dwell on.
4. Sowing to the Flesh
According to the Bible, the people who have unjustly wronged you in this life are sowing to the flesh. They are sowing to the dark side of their personality as versus sowing to their spirits, which is their good side, when they unjustly wrong others for their own gain and profit.
This next verse specifically tells us that if these people sow to their flesh with these types of unjust actions against you, then they will eventually “reap corruption” – which is death. This verse tells us that God will not be mocked and they will literally reap what they have sown against you. Here it is:
“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to the flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.” (Galatians 6:7-8)
This verse gives us another very good reason to be able to let anyone go into the hands of God who has severely wronged us in this life. Sooner or later, they will all reap what they have sown. And for some of them, it will be eternal punishment in the most horrible place imaginable.
5. Unforgiveness and Loving Your Enemies
Here are three good verses telling us that God wants us to forgive all of those who have ever wronged us, and for us to be able to love them, to do good to them, and to pray for them. This is a tall order, but it is possible with the help of the Holy Spirit guiding us in this.
“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you …” (Matthew 5:44)
This next verse tells us that we are not to hate anyone and that we are not to take any type of vengeance against someone who has wronged us. This verse also tells us that we are not to hold any grudges against anyone else and that we are to love others as we would love ourselves.
“You shall not hate your brother in your heart … You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.” (Leviticus 19:17)
This next verse really warns us of the consequences of not fully forgiving others who have trespassed against us. When someone has unjustly wronged you, they have trespassed against you. In this verse, God tells us that if we do not forgive those who have trespassed against us, then He will not forgive us when we trespass against others.
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14-15)
And if we do not receive God’s forgiveness for our trespasses down here on this earth, then we will have to face Him for judgment for these trespasses when we die and cross over to meet Him face to face. This is a very dire and strong warning from the Lord in that we are not to carry any unforgiveness in our hearts toward anyone, no matter how bad they may have wronged us.
6. Vengeance Belongs to the Lord
For those of you who have been seriously wronged and are contemplating some type of payback, some type of vengeful act against that person – look very closely at this next verse.
This verse tells us that we are not to repay evil with evil. In other words, God is telling us that any type of vengeful act that we try to take against someone who has wronged us will be considered an evil act on our part. And as such, we will either have to face His judgment in this life or in the next life for taking this vengeful act.
We are not allowed to take the law into our hands. Vengeance and payback belong to the Lord, not to us or anyone else who would like to try and get even for you!
I know there are some people who say they would kill others if anyone ever harmed any of their loved ones. But if you pay back death with death, you will have to answer direct to God Almighty Himself for your act of vengeance. This verse tells us to do just the opposite – to pay back evil, to overcome evil with goodness.
Here is a major power verse every single Christian really needs to grab a hold of if they have ever been seriously wronged or injured by the evil acts of another.
“Repay no one evil for evil … live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves … for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore if your enemy hungers, feed him; if he thirsts, give him a drink … Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:17-21)
Again, do not tempt your eternal fate with God the Father by attempting to take the law in your own hands if someone has viciously wronged either you or a close loved one. The Bible says that murderers will not be entering into the kingdom of heaven, and that may include you if you decide to try and take another person’s life as payback for something they may have done to either you or someone else in your family.
7. Judge Not
These next four verses are again strong warnings from the Lord that we are not to judge others, that judgment belongs to Him, and that we will all eventually be judged by God for all of our transgressions that have not been forgiven under the Blood of Jesus before we die.
- “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged …” (Matthew 7:1)
- “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37)
These next two verses are from the apostle Paul. He lays it out very clearly and very simply that we are to judge nothing before the time of God’s personal judgment on all of us. Paul says that God will bring to light all the hidden things of darkness when this judgment occurs and until it does, we are to go on living our lives trying to resolve what we can with our neighbor and live in harmony as best we can with them.
- “… but He who judges me is the Lord. Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the heart …” (1 Corinthians 4:4-5)
- “But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ … So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.” (Romans 14:10-13)
Again, God the Father could not make things any more clear than by the way He has worded all of these verses. All of these verses are giving us major warnings in that we are to fully forgive all of our trespassers, and that we are to let everyone go into the hands of God who has seriously wronged us in this life.
Until it is our time to depart from this life, each and everyone of us will have to put up with a certain amount of evil wrongs coming from other people. We have all been hit with these evil wrongs and will continue to be hit with them until we finally cross over to be with our Lord and Savior for all of eternity.
People are imperfect and many of them will choose to live their life out of their flesh – where their only concerns in this life is to get as much as they can, while they can, and not caring who they run over and hurt in the process. Some of these people are living their lives on a lower level than animals, as their only goals in this life are to satisfy all of the lusts of their flesh.
Until God finally prunes out all of these bad apples and we finally get the New Heaven and New Earth as foretold to us in the Book of Revelation, each one of us will have to handle these evil wrongs as they come to us.
God will eventually be judging all of these people for all of the wrongs they have ever done to anyone, including what they have personally done to you.
Until then, do not let the actions of a few bad apples ruin the rest of your life with what little time you still have left. Life is really way too short and you only have one chance to live this life to its fullest for the Lord. Make the most of what time you still have left.
God will be evening out all of the scores when it is all finally said and done. There will eventually be true and final justice for all.
We also want to point out to you that we have another article in our site that will take you deeper into the trials and tribulations that can come our way in this life and why God will allow some of these trials to come into our lives in the first place. The title of this other article is – “Trials and Tribulations – the Testing of Your Faith.“
This article will take you much deeper as to why God will allow trials, and sometimes severe types of trials, to come into our lives, even when we are doing everything right in our walks with Him.