Choose Your Friends Carefully

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For those of you who have really entered into a true Spirit-filled, fully-surrendered walk with the Lord where He is now leading your life in the direction that He will want it to go in – one of the first things that you will find happening is that God will start to prune out the people that He does not want in your life and start to bring in the people that He does want in your life.

As you will see in the Scripture verses I will list below, the Bible tells us to choose our friends very carefully in this life. These verses will tell us that he who walks with wise people will become wise himself, but that he who keeps company with fools will be destroyed.

The Bible tells us that we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, that we are to stay away from people who cause divisions and offenses, and to withdraw from every brother who walks disorderly.

This does not mean that we cannot work with the lost, the downtrodden, and the people who need to find God and His message of eternal salvation.

When Jesus came to our earth in the flesh, He always went after the sinners and the outcasts. But when Jesus went after these sinners, it was always for the express purpose of getting them saved and cleaned up.

Jesus did not chase after everyone. He ripped on the Pharisees and many of the high-ranking Jewish leaders. Some people are open to be helped, others are not. The Bible tells us to stay away from people who are considered to be “dogs,” and to beware of people who are “evil workers.”

One of the first things that God will do with your life once you come into a full surrender with Him is to start to set some boundary lines. He will now decide the path that you will follow in Him. He will now be leading you into the specific jobs that He will want you to have in this life.

If you are single and have not married yet, He will lead you to the mate that He will want you to marry if it is in His perfect will that you get married in this life.

And once those boundary lines start to go up – one of the first things that God will do is to decide who is going to be coming into those boundary lines and who will be going out.

In other words, God will be deciding who your true friends are going to be in this life and who will not.

The main reason God will be helping you to choose who your true friends are going to be in this life is because His ultimate and highest aim for you is to transform and sanctify you.

In other words, He wants you to spiritually grow and mature in your walk with Him.

The Bible tells us that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds. God’s ultimate aim for us is our sanctification – where He starts to begin to mold and transform us into the express image of His Son Jesus Christ.

The main reason that God will start to take out the friends in your life that He does not want you to have is because some of these people may be negative influences in your life.

They may not be open to growing and maturing in the Lord like you will be, and all they will do is try and hold you back when you start your own spiritual journey and growth in the Lord.

They will start criticizing and making fun of you and all they will end up doing is stunting your growth in the Lord.

God will not be putting up with this, and He will thus be taking all of these bad and negative influences out of your life very early on once you enter into this full surrender with Him. For those of you who are married and have children – it is the same thing when you do not want your children hanging out with other children who you know would be a bad and negative influence on your child.

You know that if your children start hanging out with the wrong type of crowd, they can become very easily corrupted in a very short period of time. As a result, you will become very protective with your children, and you will watch them very closely when they are old enough to start choosing who their friends are going to be.

It is the exact same way with God the Father! This is why God will be moving very early on to take out these negative influences in your life.

Once this starts to happen, you have to go with the program or you could cause God to start pulling back on you. And once that starts to happen, you could then start to backslide and everything could then start to shut down.

If you will allow God to prune out the people that He does not want you to have in your life – then what He will start to do is to bring in the people that He will want to have in your life.

I call these types of friends “God-friends.” These people will be other good, godly, Spirit-filled Christians who are truly walking in good stead with the Lord and they will now be the people that He will want you to share your walk with!

As you will see in the Scripture verses listed below – you will need other good, solid, Christian friends in your life to help you grow in the Lord.

The Bible tells us that we can only “know in part.” No one has all of the answers to everything.

By sharing your walk with other good, solid, Christian friends, you can each help each other out in your pursuit of the knowledge and ways of God.

You will know some things about God they may not know, and they will know some things that you may not know. You thus are able to help contribute to each other’s storehouse of knowledge in the Lord.

One of the verses listed below state that two friends can help sharpen each other up like “iron sharpens iron.”

Just like one piece of iron can make the other piece of iron extremely sharp by rubbing up against it – two solid Christian friends can also have the same type of positive effect on one another by sharing their own personal walks in the Lord with one other.

By having other good, solid, Christian friends to share your journey with – you will literally accelerate your spiritual growth and development in the Lord because you will have more than one source in which to feed and learn from.

You will be learning about God from all of your own personal adventures and experiences with Him – but you will also be learning more about God from all of your other friend’s personal journey and experiences with Him.

How many of these types of God-friends can you expect God to bring into your life? Only God will be able to answer that for each and every one of you. Some may only get one or two to start off with, others may get 5 or 10. Let God make the decision as to how many and when they will be brought into your life.

What I have learned is that it is not the quantity or amount that comes in – it is the quality.

You are much better off having just one or two good, solid, quality friends as versus 10 or 15 that are not as good quality friends as the one or two may be.

Every Christian is operating at different levels of spiritual development with the Lord. God knows best as to who would be best suited for you at the level of spiritual development that you are currently operating at with Him.

When God does bring in these types of special God-friends to share your journey with – they will be real treasures!

These God-friendships will be anointed by God Himself due to the quality feedings and interaction that will occur in them.

Sadly, what you will find out very early on, is just because someone may be a saved and born again Christian does not mean this person has their act together in the Lord. Some people have become too judgmental and too critical in their walks with the Lord. Some have become too arrogant and pompous, thinking they have all the answers to everything.

They will tend to look down on anyone else who is not operating at the knowledge levels they are operating at. Some have become so flaky in their walks with the Lord, that they have lost touch with reality and you won’t be able to connect with any of them.

God knows best as to who will be best suited for you at your current level of spiritual development with Him – so let Him guide you to the ones that He will want you to connect with. I have seen God do this so many times for others, that I literally consider it a miraculous piece of work – especially as to how He gets you to meet some of these people in the first place.

Some of these chess moves are quite incredible, as most of these people will be total strangers to you until God moves in to match the two of you up.

The other thing that could occur besides God matching you up with total strangers is that He may move on someone else you may know, but that you are not particular good friends with.

That person then gets saved and plugged in, and then they find out that you too are saved and plugged in – and now a good God-friendship can start to build up as you now have something in common with one another to start to build a good solid friendship with.

This could be another member in your family, someone that you may work with, a friend who you may have known from your past, or someone you may see at church from time to time but never really talked with. The possibilities are endless as to where these people may come from.

These God-friends can come from anywhere and at anytime – so keep your radars up, as you never know when God may move to bring one of them into your life.

Bible Verses On Friendship

1. Choose Your Friends Carefully

This first verse is the one that will tell us to choose our friends very carefully in this life. This verse should literally be burned into your memory banks so that you never, ever forget this basic fundamental command from the Lord! Here it is:

“The righteous should CHOOSE HIS FRIENDS CAREFULLY, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.” (Proverbs 12:26)

Notice this verse is specifically telling us that if we do not choose our friends very carefully in this life, that we could end up choosing the wrong type of people to become friends with, and they can then end up leading us astray from God and with what He wants to do with our lives. Many of God’s people have lost their calls in Him because they chose to hang out with the wrong type of people.

2. Benefits of Choosing Good God-Friends

Here are six very interesting verses showing you why God does want you to have other good, solid, Christian friends to share your walk with.

These six verses will show you that there is safety in the multitude of counselors, that plans can go awry without having other people to hash things out with, that war is waged by having wise counsel with others, that learning is increased by listening to wise counsel, and that if you cease to listen to wise counsel – that you will start to stray from being able to acquire more knowledge in God.

  • “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14)
  • “A wise man is strong, yes, a man of knowledge increases strength; for by wise counsel you will wage your own war, and in a multitude of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 24:5)
  • “Every purpose is established by counsel; by wise counsel wage war.” (Proverbs 20:18)
  • “Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established.” (Proverbs 15:22)
  • “Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days.” (Proverbs 19:20)
  • “Cease listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge.” (Proverbs 19:27)

Once you turn the reigns of your life over to God for Him to fully handle, He will now make sure that you get matched up with the right kind of people that you can become true God-friends with.

3. As Iron Sharpens Iron

This next verse is extremely fascinating as it tells us that two friends can help sharpen each other up as iron sharpens iron.

A true God-friend can help keep you sharp in the Spirit, let you know when you are getting too far off track, help you get through and make sense of some of the downswings that can occur in your walk, confirm and help bear witness when you are on the right track, give you pep talks when needed, and help keep you in the game when you start to get too mad and frustrated when things do not go your way.

You each serve to help keep each other up in the Lord so that you both can continue to stay on the straight and narrow road that God now has you set up on. You can also help each other out if one starts to be tempted to do something they should not be engaging in. Here is the verse:

“As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17)

A true God-friend will always be honest and straight forward with you. You cannot help keep each other up and sharp in the Lord unless you are both willing to be totally honest with one another.

4. Do Not Be Unequally Yoked With Unbelievers

These next seven verses will tell us not to be yoked together with unbelievers, foolish men, dogs, evil workers, those who are disorderly, reckless, contentious and always causing trouble and strife.

There is one verse in particular that tells us that “evil company corrupts good habits.” This verse perfectly shows us what can happen to any of your children if they start hanging out with the wrong type of people.

Here are 7 good verses telling us to stay on our side of the fence, and to stay away from all of the bad apples who have no desire for God or anything that He stands for.

  • “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God.” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
  • “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.” (Proverbs 13:20)
  • “A scoffer seeks wisdom and does not find it, but knowledge is easy to him who understands. Go from the presence of a foolish man, when you do not perceive in him the lips of knowledge.” (Proverbs 14:6)
  • “Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers …” (Philippians 3:2)
  • “But we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you withdraw from every brother who walks disorderly and not according to the tradition which he received from us.” (2 Thessalonians 3:6)
  • “Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you have learned, and avoid them. For those who are such do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly, and by smooth words and flattering speech deceive the hearts of the simple.” (Romans 16:17)
  • “Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

All of these verses are giving us major warnings that we are to stay away from all of the bad apples in this life who will do nothing but try and bring us down to their lower way of living in this life.

Many Christians have had their lives totally ruined and destroyed as a result of marrying the wrong people or choosing the wrong kinds of friends to hang out with.


Just as God saw fit to create Eve for Adam in the Garden of Eden when He first created the first man – God still places an extremely high value on personal friendships, and He will make sure to bring the right people and the right number of people in your life so you can each help each other out to go farther and fly higher in the Lord.

When Jesus first started to send the 12 apostles out to walk with His anointing, He would always send them out two-by-two.

Once you enter into a real supernatural walk with the Lord, you will go nuts if you do not have someone to share your walk with. There are simply too many good God things that will start to happen in your life, and you will need others to talk with, to vent with, to share with, to learn from one another, and to help keep each other on track.

I believe Jesus was giving us a major piece of revelation when He started sending the apostles out two-by-two instead of by themselves.

For those of you who have not been matched up with a good God-friend at this time – just go to God the Father in prayer and ask Him to bring you the right friend that would be best suited for you at your present level of spiritual development in Him.

Unless God is keeping you all to Himself for a reason and a season, there is no reason that God will not want to move on this request to bring you a true special God-friend in order to help accelerate your spiritual growth in Him.

If God did it for Adam in the Garden of Eden, then there is no reason that He would not want to do it for you.


55 Responses to “Choose Your Friends Carefully”

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  1. Ahhh, Good message! Thank you! I am transitioning to another state, and my biggest request, is finding a church home, where God’s Will is in line with my will.
    It is funny and true, The Good Father will start to prune out! I am realizing that it’s nothing personal, and that He wants what is best for me! I believe that 🙂

  2. This was extremely good for my spirit!! I needed to read this and I believe that I’m in the faze where GOD either wants me to himself, or in a time were, it’s time to have “God-friends” in my life. One great thing is god has been pruning me so, I believe I’m on my way for the journey! I will be in prayer on this!! And I’m excited! Thank u for this and blessing to you! ❤

  3. Thank you this was so helpful – l am learning about Christian friendships and what path they play in your Christian growth or walk. I tend to want to love everyone to easily and to trust more in a more experienced Christian more, than in myself, a lack of confidence as a Christian and a need for a parent like Christian friendship that will give me answers and do the guiding for me …..

    • This is so so true. I am going through this season of friendship readjustment right now.
      God is incredible. Im always excited to see how he will work in my life next. He does so much more for my life than I could ever do by my own strength.

  4. I have read the article about finding friends
    Do to a life of agony and despair, I called God’s for help.
    in the process of finding God I lost my friends, my family and myself.
    God has given me a new life and has been teaching me how to love me has he does, and I feel that I am ready to be a friend to other and to get back what I have lost, through wrong beliefs, wrong religious without the love of Christ.
    i am praying that God will bring into my life people that are willing to be dressed with God’s rightness and to help put away what does not fit at His banquet.

    • Re: Maria, I went through the same thing. I had to leave behind my family, old friends, and a twin sister that wasn’t good for me, when I started my new life with Jesus. I am searching for new friends that are on the same walk as me.

  5. So, I am being clear on this… what you are saying in this article is that God wants us to fully rely on Him to bring friends into our lives. Never really considered this… I always worried that my strong desire to have these friendships constituted idols in my life.

  6. Hello God’s People,
    I can’t truly relate to this post. I am friendless at this stage of my journey: the sad thing is, when I wasn’t friendless, I was. I just created a Facebook page, for true people of God, that want to lift up His name, pray for each other, inspire, and encourage each other. I hope this is okay to post. I just wanted to create a place where people can come and feel love. I just created it, maybe a week ago. I’ve only spoken about it to one person. Feel free to stop by, kindness is waiting. The group name is Loving Hearts Pray, God Bless.

  7. This article really helped me. Right now I really do not have any close friends. And I am not going to church at this time but after reading your article I really want to. My question to you is this. For some reason God I believe has taken my two daughters out of my life because of a verbal assault from one of my daughters to me too long of a story. But the main thing that I want to ask is because I know that they are worshipping other gods by doing yoga that I wonder if that is why he took them out of my life while I am trying to strengthen my walk with Him. I have tried to speak with them about the philosophy behind yoga and that no matter who calls it Christian Yoga the philosophy behind it still stands and it is still wrong for a Christian to do. Since the yoga all started it wasn’t long afterwards that an argument started they do not speak to me now. When you say to choose your friends carefully does this also mean family members as close as your own children are to you?

    • Love them where they are without affirming the wrong things they do. Pray for them without ceasing.

    • It’s a New Year. I’m hoping things are going better for you and your daughters 🙂

      I’m sorry to have read about the challenges you’ve had with your daughters, following their decision to practice yoga. I was lead here in my search for info about the Bible verse “iron sharpens iron”, and was surprised to see the very first comment bring about yoga. It’s a long story, but I’ve been led on a separate quest to battle yoga in schools, and in the church, after my own children were subject to it in their public elementary school.

      You mentioned not having close friends, and not going to church. Clearly you were led to this site somehow as well… Is there an email I can reach you through?

      God Bless you Sister,

    • You cant force people too believe what u do only show them too him and let him do the rest. Everyone is wrong and everyone is righ people need too focus on the lord he will choose what is wrong or right focus on your belief there for u judge no one, people are removed from your life or this world before there sin condems them and so they can be saved

    • For real? Just because someone does yoga does not mean they are not a good Christians. Meditation is prayer for most. Do not judge lest you be judged. Why can’t you get in touch with the Holy Spirit during yoga? God is everywhere. Everyone is on their own journey. Make up with your daughters. God would not want you to not have a relationship with them in His name. God is love and forgiveness – God gave you the gifts of your daughters.

  8. Now that I understand who I should be friends with…what should I do with those I’m not friends with that are non Christians? How do I try leading them to the Lord? What if they don’t want any part of it? Do I give up? Or?

    • Don’t give up your friendship but pray for them and try leading them to Christ but if they still don’t want to all you can do is pray but if they are doing a wrong against Christ don’t join them but pray

  9. I have recently, within the last year and a half bean my journey with a Jesus. I a working so hard on this a commitment. In the process of this last year, I got married because my pastor told me that I was living in sin. My husband and I have been in a relationship for almost 5 years now, married for almost 1. My concern is the closer I want to walk with Jesus, I’ve tried to include him in church, and prayer, and etc. He wants nothing to do with. I’ve specifically asked him, don’t you want to walk with the Lord and his answer was No.
    I took my vowels before the Lord, the 4th time “til death do us part,”I don’t want to break this oath I made to God again but what do I do when scripture tells us to clearly stay the away from these people. He won’t go to church, etc. etc.
    I’ve been told to just pray, be patient. But its been over a year and he hasn’t made any changes. So I’m in awe on what to do when it’s concerning my husband instead of a friend.

    • My husband waited 2.5 years for me. There is hope. Don’t give up and don’t stop praying. I gave my life to Christ and now weraise our children together according to the word of God. I thank God my husband didn’t give up on me!

    • Leigh,

      There are many people in church and who aren’t saved. Pray that your husband surrenders his life to CHRIST.
      The only thing that you really can do is what you know will work and that is praying for your husband. One of the best things I have read came from a comment made on a blog said that the wife’s most important role was to ensure that her husband makes it to Heaven.
      I am married and my husband is not actively in church with me either. It hurts me too, and believe this, I have tried getting him to church my way. My way doesn’t work and it’s never worked for my marriage or anything else, and my way was only getting him to church by nagging and that meant he was not going but to just only to shut me up, and that’s not good for him, or for GOD especially. It has to be all about CHRIST, or why even attend church.

      Just remember that everyone is not on the same faith level. Remember where you started at in your Faith and where you were at befoew you turned your own life over to GOD.
      What I am learning now is to just pray for him continuously and consistently and I am finally trusting GOD the way that I should have in the beginning of the prayers for my husband and I am trusting that GOD will get him there. I have been praying for years for my husband too. I am seeing GOD changing him, but I am also aware that It’s a process and it’s one that we cannot have any control over. If we try to take the reign back, it’s just going to mean more struggle. Just let GOD be GOD. We are only called to share CHRIST. Only HIS HOLY SPIRIT can convict and convince a heart though.

      My husband and I are getting re- baptized together next Sunday (9-9) and all I’ve done was simply pray to GOD with my sisters in CHRIST for him to be open to it, and I added that request like last year to my own prayer request list, so I’ve been praying for just that to happen over a year, I am also documenting my prayers as they get answered.
      I asked him and he at first turned it down, so I just left it alone and I didn’t bring it up again. He mentioned it to me on his own that same night that I asked, (GOD convinced him) and he told me that he would like to do it. GOD has done ALL of the work. All I have done is what I was created as a wife to do and as a help mate to do. I prayed for my husband. I am praying that this rededication and baptism will be something that will dramatically change him and creates a burning hunger to desire on his own (through GOD’S conviction) to want to come to church and I am praying that he falls madly in love with JESUS too and becomes all the man that GOD created him to be.

      Don’t ever think that prayers are not heard or not answered. GOD is already working on your behalf for this very prayer you’ve asked for and no matter how long it takes, the wait is worth it to get him to CHRIST!

      Many blessings to you and I am going to pray right now that happens soon. Hang on!

    • I recommend you getting the book the power of a praying wife by Stormie Omartian

    • It is the holy spirit that moves in the hearts of men to change only he can do this. ….

    • Lots of different scenarios could come out of this. My grandma found Christ in her mid 30’s. My grandpa wasn’t led to christ til 70. My grandma did pray daily for Him, went to church alone and they still loved each other. He accepted Christ and was seeing the truth of the Bible before he died@72. God converted me and my husband at the same time and opened our eyes to truth. My friends husband hardened his heart Against God and he filed for divorce and she met a Godly man and they are both happy. God makes the best decision for you, he will lead you, impress on your heart. Put it all in Gods hands with prayer and reading His word. The Bible says Jesus is the Word and Joel says there will be famine in end times not of food but the word of God. So Pray, read the Bible, continue your Christian walk and leave it up to God.
      God bless sister

    • Hello
      Doesn’t scripture say that if you are married to an unbeliever, and they are happy to stay in the marriage then you should stay? But if they want to leave then the believer is no longer bound because we are called to peace. I’m sorry, I don’t have the scripture off hand but I believe the Apostle Paul said this. You might try
      I empathize with you and your situation and I will pray for you and your husband. I hope this helps. Jesus wants us to have peace in our hearts.

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