Why Do Some Christians Behave So Badly

Another type of email that we keep receiving on a very regular basis is the exact title of this article – why do some Christians behave so badly?

If we are new creations in Jesus Christ as a result of being saved and born again through His shed blood, and we now have the Holy Spirit literally living on the inside of us to help guide, teach, convict, empower, and sanctify us in this life, then how can so many Christians be getting into so much off-the-cuff, bad behavior with the Lord?

Many of these types of bad-behaving Christians are also chasing many nonbelievers away from the Lord instead of leading them to Him as a result of them making very bad representatives for our Lord.

Many nonbelievers are wrongly judging our God by our actions, words, and deeds – and when they see some Christians behaving very badly in their marriages, in their work places, and in their social environments, they will shy away from checking what our faith is really all about. And this is all due to the hypocritical bad behavior of so many Christians who are not being properly sanctified by the Lord.

What I am talking about in this article is not every minor flaw and imperfection we all have in our personalities.

We all have our rough edges that need to be smoothed out and cleaned up by the Lord. What I am talking about is behavior that would be considered off-the-cuff and pushing the envelope with the Lord.

This kind of bad behavior is what many Christians consider to be unacceptable in the eyes of God since this kind of behavior is going so blatantly against His ways of living for us in this life.

Here were some of the things many people were pointing out to us in the emails we have received on this topic. I have also seen a lot of this kind of activity occur myself in the business world in which I worked in for 30 years.

  1. Extreme Verbal Abuse
  2. Physical Abuse
  3. Very Harsh, Mean, Judgmental, Critical, Demeaning Spirits
  4. Very Prideful, Arrogant, Know-It-All Attitudes
  5. Very Controlling and Manipulating Spirits
  6. Willing to Spread False Rumors and Malicious Gossip
  7. Various Types of Criminal Activities

Every time we receive these types of emails, people keep asking us the same question over and over again. How can so many Christians behave like this when they have been born again and have the Holy Spirit literally living on the inside of them?

If it is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict and straighten out this kind of bad behavior, then why is He not doing this more with these kinds of bad-behaving Christians?

Many of these bad-behaving Christians are regularly attending their local churches. Many of them have been brought up in good Christian homes.

But yet somewhere along the line some of this kind of bad behavior starts manifesting in their personalities, and instead of getting it quickly dealt with and taken out, it just keeps getting worse until they finally develop strongholds with this kind of bad behavior getting solidly ingrained in their personalities.

I know you all have come across other Christians who are engaging in this kind of unacceptable behavior with the Lord. Some of you have tried to talk to and reason with these people, but to no avail. Many of them are full of so much pride, they will never be able to admit to anyone, including God Himself that they have anything wrong with them.

The Bible tells us that pride will come before the fall, and the reason for this is because pride will blind you and prevent you from being able to see the truth on what is wrong with you.

As a result, these kinds of Christians will never accept any kind of constructive, godly criticism from anyone, including God Himself. This is why the Holy Spirit is not moving on some of these people, because they would not be open to receiving His conviction and truth in the first place.

With many of these people still attending church, and with many of them having already been brought up in good Christian homes, then why is this happening?

If they have been brought up in the Bible and all the ways of our Lord, then how can they justify this kind of bad behavior when the Bible is so blatantly pointing out to them that this kind of bad behavior is totally unacceptable in the eyes of God?

After watching quite a few of these bad-behaving Christians myself in the work place, in their marriages, and in their social environments, I have come to the conclusion that there are 5 main reasons why these people are not changing for the better in their walks with the Lord.

Here are the 5 main reasons, and then I will talk about each one of them under the captions below so you do not let this kind of bad behavior bother you, upset you, distract you, or knock you off course with what God is wanting to do with your life in the divine plan He has set up for you.

  1. They Have Not Established a True, Good, Personal Relationship With the Lord
  2. They Are Not Operating in a True Full Surrender With the Lord
  3. They Are Not Reading and Studying Enough From the Bible
  4. They Are Not Being Properly Sanctified by the Holy Spirit
  5. Some of Them Will Have Demons Attached to Them

Years ago when I found out that the Bible was the real Word of God to all of us, I literally tore into it so I could find out exactly how God was wanting us to live in this life for Him.

And as I studied and started to put things together, there were several things that were jumping off the pages at me as to what God would be looking for from each one of us.

This is one of the main reasons my brother and I wanted to put this kind of website together, to show people what some of these basic areas were so they would then know what to try and develop with the Lord.

And some of those main areas are exactly what some of these bad-behaving Christians are not doing with the Lord.

Now I will go into each one of these 5 areas under the captions below so you can at least have an understanding as to why some Christians are not spiritually growing and changing as they should in the Lord.

5 Reasons Why Some Christians Behave Badly

1. They Have Not Established a True, Good, Personal Relationship With the Lord

The first major thing that will jump out at you when you study the Bible from cover to cover is that God is calling each man and each woman He has ever created to come into intimate fellowship with Him.

In other words, God wants to establish a good, strong, intimate, personal, love relationship with each person He has created.

The fact that God the Father would send down His only and only begotten Son Jesus Christ down to our earth to go through the most bloody, barbaric, and brutal death known to mankind when He came down here, all just to be able to get us back to Himself, shows us more than anything else how much God and Jesus really do love all of us.

As such, God now wants to take this scenario one step further. He wants each one of us to press in and draw close to Him so we can start to establish this kind of good, strong, intimate, personal relationship with Him.

What I have found with some of these bad-behaving Christians is that they may say they love Jesus and have a very good relationship established with Him, but their bad actions are not lining up with what they are telling everyone else with their mouths. In other words, they are talking the talk, but they are not really walking the walk.

No sooner do they get out of church and they are back home verbally and physically abusing their spouses and children at home. They are back out continuing to have affairs behind their spouse’s back. They are continuing to cause trouble at work by spreading false rumors and malicious gossip on some of their fellow workers.

If these people really had a good, close, intimate, personal relationship with the Lord, then the Lord would also be very close to them.

And if God is very close to them, then He would be convicting and correcting them very quickly when they start manifesting this kind of unacceptable bad behavior – just like good parents will quickly correct a child who is starting to do some bad things that would be considered unacceptable.

The fact that God is not trying to correct some of these people shows me one of two things:

  • One, He has either tried to correct them before, but these people are not accepting His constructive criticism and conviction because they do not want to admit they have anything wrong with them in the first place.
  • Or two, He cannot even begin to reach them in the first place because they will not be open to receiving any kind of correction and conviction from Him because they already have too much pride operating in them.

But in either event, this shows they may not really have that close of a relationship with the Lord. If they really did, there is no way they would be acting out with these kinds of bad behaviors.

If you really want to spiritually grow in the Lord and be truly sanctified by the power of His Holy Spirit, then the first step is that you have to establish a very good personal relationship with the Lord.

This is the absolute first step for every single Christian. Many Christians have not established good personal relationships with the Lord for various reasons and as a result, there is very little if any true spiritual growth occurring in their lives.

Jesus is the vine and we are the branches. Just like the branches draw their life from the vine, we have to draw our life from Jesus. And the very first step into being able to draw Jesus’ divine life into us is by establishing a good, close, personal relationship with Him.

There is no other way. There are no other shortcuts you can take to achieve true spiritual growth in this life. And many of these bad-behaving Christians are missing this very first important step.

2. They Are Not Operating in a True Full Surrender With the Lord

Another major reason why many of these bad-behaving Christians are so out of control with their fleshly actions is that they are not walking in a true full surrender with the Lord.

As we have already explained in our detailed article titled, “The Full Surrender,” the second thing that God is going to want from you is for you to come into a full and complete surrender of your entire life so He is fully free to guide you into the divine destiny that He already has set up for your life.

Unless you first come into this full surrender with God, He is not going to be working full force in your life to lead it into the specific directions He will want it to go in. And if God is not working full force in your life, then you may not make much spiritual growth in Him because the Holy Spirit is also not working with you full force on the inside.

If you want to get God to start moving full force in every area of your life, then you have to make a complete and full surrender of every part of your being and every part of your life over to Him. Again, this is all fully explained to you in our article titled, “The Full Surrender.”

Many of these bad-behaving Christians are not walking in a true full surrender because they do not want anyone telling them how to run their lives, which will include God Almighty Himself. They know if they enter into this full surrender, that God will be coming after a lot of their bad behavior patterns, and many of them do not want to give up this kind of bad behavior since they are actually feeding off it.

Christians who are out living very sexually promiscuous lifestyles are receiving a certain amount of sexual gratification from it. They know what they are doing is wrong in the eyes of God, but yet they still keep on repeating the same kind of behavior over and over again because of the sexual pleasure and gratification it is giving to them.

So the second main reason these Christians are not making any improvements in their bad behaviors is because they are not walking in a true full surrender with the Lord.

If they were walking in a true full surrender, then God would be leading them through the Holy Spirit. And if they were being properly led by the Holy Spirit, then there is no way they could continue to stay in these bad behavior patterns, as the Holy Spirit would be leading them right out of it.

3. They Are Not Reading and Studying Enough From the Bible

Once I found out years ago how powerful and divine the Bible really was, I became very surprised as to how many Christians were not regularly feeding off it to any significant degree. A

nd again, this is one of the main reasons we have started up this kind of website, to show people how much incredible working knowledge there is in the Bible, and how this divine knowledge and revelation can literally change your whole life for the better.

One of the things I have found out about the Holy Spirit is that He will become very active in your life if you will spend some kind of regular quality time in the Bible trying to learn as much as you can.

The Holy Spirit needs something to work with in order to cause any kind of true spiritual growth to occur in your life and that something is knowledge.

And the knowledge that He needs to work with is knowledge that comes straight from the Bible.

If you want to spiritually grow in this life beyond what you ever thought was possible, then you have to read and feed from the only and only source that will give you the kind of knowledge that will cause this kind of spiritual growth to occur in the first place.

Bottom line – if you do not read and study from the Bible on any kind of regular basis, then the Holy Spirit will not have anything to work with to change you into the kind of person that God wants you to become in Him.

I have had quite a few Christians tell me over the years they did not need to read the Bible, as the church they were going to was giving them everything they would need to spiritually grow in this life.

Needless to say, many of them were in one mess after another because they did not have enough of the Word in them to keep them out of trouble, as their pastors and priests could only cover so much in a once-per-week sermon.

Many of the bad-behaving Christians I have met in my life had very little Bible knowledge in them. And the ones who did, they were just flat out refusing to listen to and obey God with what He was telling them to do through His Word.

You can read the Word all day long, but if you do not seek to fully understand what God is telling you, and then seek to implement these divine truths into your daily walk with Him, then nothing is ever going to happen and you will make very little if any true spiritual growth in this life.

The truth can only set you free and make you into a better person only if you know what these divine truths are, and then get these divine truths worked into your daily life with the help of the Holy Spirit.

So the third main reason many of these Christians are behaving so badly is because they have either not spent much time reading from the one Book that can give them the knowledge that will change them for the better – or they have read from the Bible, but they are flat out refusing to obey what God is telling them to do through His Word because they do not want anyone telling them what to do or how to live their lives once they are outside the four walls of their churches.

4. They Are Not Being Properly Sanctified by the Holy Spirit

If there is one major secret that really jumped out at me once I started to study the Bible, it was in the area of sanctification.

In the Sanctification section of our site, we have an article titled, “Sanctification.” In this article, we give you all of the main verses from the Bible to show you that this is really something big that God wants to do with each one of us.

Once we become saved and born again through Jesus Christ, that is just the beginning. Once we accept Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior, we will immediately receive the Holy Spirit. He will literally come on the inside of us to take up residence in our human spirits.

And once the Holy Spirit is on the inside of us, one of the greatest things God wants to do with each one of us is to sanctify us, to make us into a better and more holy people. He wants to set us apart and consecrate us unto Himself. He wants to transform us into the express image of His Son Jesus.

However, this sanctification process is a two way street.

God needs your full consent and full cooperation before He will begin this type of deeper work within you. The Holy Spirit will be the One to sanctify you to the degree that God would really like to get you to in this life. But this is something that you will really have to want, as God highly respects your free will in this area and He will not push this on you unless you really want Him to do this with you.

If there is one major reason why some Christians are not changing for the better and making much spiritual growth in their lives, it has to be because they have never entered into a true sanctification process with the Lord.

Unless you get into the Bible to seek out the knowledge that will change you for the better, and then work with the Holy Spirit and His divine power to get these divine truths worked into your mindset and personality, then nothing is ever going to happen in your spiritual life with the Lord.

If the Holy Spirit starts to transmit and impart His divine love into your personality as one of His 9 fruits, but you refuse to operate on that love with your words, actions, and deeds to others, then nothing is ever going to happen.

If the Holy Spirit starts to impart His self-control in you as one of His 9 fruits so you will have His power to clean up your foul speech and the way you talk to others, and you refuse to change the way you speak to others, then again, nothing is ever going to happen and you will never change into the kind of saint God wants you to become in Him.

In our article titled, “Sanctification,” we give you a good sample prayer that you can use to get you into this realm with God, along with some pointers as to what to look out for once the Lord starts to do this kind of deeper work within you.

Again, I cannot shout out this particular secret loud enough. It is is the Word and the Spirit working together that will change you into the kind of saint that God wants you to become in Him in this life.

Seek after the knowledge you will need to change for the better from the Bible, and then work with the Holy Spirit and His divine power on the inside of you, and then you will change for the better – and it can happen right here in this life to some appreciable degree.

Every single, bad-behaving Christian I have met in my life has not entered into a true sanctification process with the Lord.

And if they have not entered into a true sanctification process with the Lord, then the Holy Spirit is not going to be working with them on the inside to clean them up. And they will thus stay stuck right where they are at, never having the inner strength on their own to change themselves for the better.

And from there, they will just keep repeating their same bad behaviors, contaminating everyone around them with their toxic personality qualities.

5. Some of Them Will Have Demons Attached to Them

As a result of some of these bad behaviors being more on the extreme side, some of these people will end up drawing demons after them. And once the demons have attached to them, they will then try to make these bad behaviors even worse than what they already were.

Christians who are living in very sexually promiscuous type lifestyles can easily draw demons of lust and perversion. And once these kinds of nasty and foul demons attach to them, they will then have a harder time of trying to break away from it. And from there, they may need a full scale deliverance once the demons have been attached to them long enough and have become solidly entrenched in their lives.

Again, as we have said in many of the articles in our Spiritual Warfare section, demons cannot make you do anything against your own free will.

They can plant their evil thoughts and suggestions in your mind, and also give you the desire and compulsion to want to do their evil bidding, but each person can still resist them and not act out on their evil suggestions.

Just because a demon is trying to get you to commit fornication does not mean you have to do it. God held Adam and Eve totally accountable for eating the fruit off the one tree He told them to stay away from.

Even though it was the devil who tempted and persuaded them to do it, they still had their own free wills and they both could have easily said no to the devil. As a result, God held them both totally accountable and He will do the same with each one of us.

For the most part, Christians who are acting out with these bad behaviors are not going to be able to use the excuse that the devil made them do it once they appear before Jesus at His Judgment Seat in heaven.

They will have to answer to the Lord for everything they have said and done in this life, all of the good with all of the bad. And the excuse that the devil made them do it is not going to be washing with the Lord on most of these bad actions and behaviors.

Conclusion

I will end this article with three thoughts.

1. When it comes to Christians who are acting out with some of the above bad behaviors, you can classify them into one of two groups.

One is the group that is full of so much pride and arrogance, they will never accept any kind of constructive criticism from either God Himself, or any other Christians God may send across their paths to try and help get them straightened out.

They are bound up in their own tunnel vision and they do not see they are doing anything wrong, even though all of the above bad behaviors are going directly against God and His Word.

They have already found enough reasons to justify this kind of bad behavior and that is why many of them will never change throughout their entire lives.

2. Then you have the second group.

This group does realize that what they are doing is wrong, but they have been behaving like this for so long, they no longer have the will power to change themselves for the better.

This bad behavior has now become a mental and emotional stronghold, and they will now need the power of the Holy Spirit to get this bad behavior broken off their backs and taken out of their personalities.

To those of you who are in this second group, realize that there is nothing that our all-powerful God cannot do.

If God was able to change and turn the apostle Paul, then He can change and turn anyone else as well, no matter how bad your behaviors have been over the years.

If you have been in these bad behavior patterns for a long time, and you have not been able to get them worked out of your personality, we can recommend three very good articles for you so you can see how to get God to move on your behalf.

God will work through the power of the Holy Spirit on the inside of you to take out these bad behaviors, but it will really help if you knew what to do on your end to help facilitate this kind of a deliverance.

Please read these three articles, as they will each give you the steps you will need to take with the Lord before He will move full force to clean you up on the inside:

  1. The Full Surrender
  2. Sanctification
  3. God Will Help You With Your Sin Areas

The last article will show you how God will roll up His sleeves and get right down there in the trenches with you to pull you out of these bad behaviors.

You can be totally set free from these bad behaviors if you will realize they are bad and unacceptable in the eyes of God in the first place – and then be willing to work with the Lord for an actual deliverance.

3. To those of you who are living and/or working with any bad-behaving Christians, the first thing we would recommend is to see if they would be open to receiving any kind of counseling from the church you go to if they are not open to listening to you.

If your spouse is out of control with how they are acting and behaving, sometimes they will be open to working with a good Christian counselor if they are remorseful and repentant enough and know they have some problems that need to be dealt with.

However, if you are dealing with a bad-behaving Christian who is the first type mentioned above where they are never wrong and would never be open to any receiving kind of good Christian counseling, then all you can do is keep praying to God that He make a very heavy move on them. Sometimes it will take God making a very heavy move on them like He did with the apostle Paul before they will be able to see the errors of their ways.

Some of these people will literally need to be knocked off their high horses by God Himself before they will be able to see how wrong their behaviors have been over all of the years, and how they have severely mistreated all those around them. And again, if God can knock the apostle Paul to the ground and change and turn him for the better, then He can also do the same thing with every single, bad-behaving Christian.

Your job is to pray for these people behind the scenes, as God is going to be the only One who will be able to reach them and change them.

In the meantime, if you are living very close to a bad-behaving Christian, do not let their bad behaviors and actions stop you or deter you from progressing further on in the divine call and plan that God has set up for your life.

Do not let their threats and condescending put-downs knock you off the path that God has set up for your life.

Realize why these people are the way they are, and then get on with the rest of your life and fully complete your divine destiny for the Lord. Sooner or later, God will be dealing with all of them on the trouble and chaos they have inflicted on all those around them.

Professional athletes have a very common saying that helps to keep them focused and on their game, and that saying is – “KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE BALL.”

The ball is Jesus and the perfect plan that He has set up for your life. Keep your eyes on Jesus and the perfect plan that He wants you to be walking in on a daily basis, and everything else will eventually be taken care of by Him, including any bad-behaving Christians you may be living with or working with.

So do you know any Christians who behave badly? I would start off by praying for them before sending them this article. 🙂

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Comments

19 Responses to “Why Do Some Christians Behave So Badly”

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  1. Tommy - February 28, 2018 at 8:55 am

    Great insight into the issue of bad behavior within the Church. God’s Word clearly tells us there are tares among the Wheat. I seriously doubt any of the tares would ever agree that they were tares. As your article stated, they don’t know. As I read your article, I was anticipating your remarks about the all to famous question of “ONCE SAVED ALWAYS SAVED” The question is far to subjective to be answered anyone concerning another confessed Christian because all Christians are not at the same place in gaining understanding of Who God is, much less Who He is in them. None of us are able to be a Christian by our good behavior, works or otherwise, only by obedience to the leading of the Holy Spirit in us, are we made perfect in the eyes of The Lord. Grace is the power of salvation, which is freely given to those who believe that God can and will do what we are unable to do on our own however, it must be “my will” to do “HIS WILL” or His grace will not be applied. Galatians 5:4 (NKJV) “You have become estranged from Christ, you who attempt to be justified by law; you have fallen from grace.” Grace is an inherent attribute of God’s character; it operates through our lives when we behave as God behaved. The Pure Word Bible says it this way: “Because God has loved in such a manner, the satan’s world, so that He Gave His Son, the Only Begotten Risen Christ, in order that whoever is Continuously by his choice be committing for the result and purpose of Him, should not perish, but definitely should, by his choice, be Continuously having Eternal Life.” We must all work out our salvation with fear and trembling; not by being afraid of God but in reverential fear that because we Love Him and our neighbor more than ANYTHING, including MYSELF, that I do NOTHING that would displease Him. With all that said, the only measurement of God in anyone’s life is not the amount as if we could measure it, but the life of God Himself expressed by Who He is, “God is Love”. Even the devil believes, but he has not love.1 John 4:20 (NKJV)
    “If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?”
    The attributes of the people depicted in your article are contrary to the Life of God. Whether they have entered into the sanctification process through trusting in, relying upon and by choice, committing to be changed is a life long process, which according to Paul in Gal. 5:4. We cannot fall from a place we have not ever climbed to! Might we stop judging anyone’s salvation based upon their behaviors, but judge ourselves as to the flow of God’s Love from ourselves. “Life and death are in the power of our tongues, and those who “love it” will eat the fruit of it”. Not even a good Christian can change anyone, but Love will never fail. God’s Love flowing from me will change even the vilest of people. Might we all give Love a chance and stop arguing doctrine and just be Christ on earth. People who desire to be faithful to God, but fall short of that faithfulness can rest in the fact that God will not deny Himself, He will remain faithful. This is how we as Christians should act as well. When treated badly, abused, condemned by others, falsely accused and even killed, we are to remain faithful to Loving as Christ Loved us and died for us even when we were sinners, hating and killing by our words.
    Final Words; Give Love a Chance, test God in this and see the salvation of the Lord spread across the world as a river of Living Waters, saving not killing.

    In His service
    Tommy

  2. Charles Allen - January 30, 2015 at 10:50 pm

    Pertaining to the behavior of so many Christians today, it makes one see the truth of God’s Living Word more and more, of how Christians are becoming more self-centered, instead of staying God centered with total willingness and obedience to God’s Voice and His commands. The minds of most Christians have been indoctrinated by the majority within this world, becoming imitators of men and not of God. It is all about title, riches, politics, pleasures and fame, and if one does not follow and play the game, then one is slaughtered and put to shame. God’s way is not a bed of comfort and roses, the closer you get to the Truth of God, the harder it becomes. My own life, studies and research on this most crucial subject does prove my point, an just by taking a honest look at all the godly men in God’s Word, not one had a easy comfortable life. So what makes any Christian today any better than any one of God’s people mentioned in His Holy Scriptures? To end this off, I must say that the Amish group or family are the closest to the truth of God than any other Christian walking the face of God’s earth. They are dedicated, most obedient God fearing people, who do not play hide and seek of who they are. We as Christians can learn a lot about Christian behavior from the Amish people.

    • Gary - August 3, 2018 at 7:20 pm

      Charles , I totally agree with you about the Amish. I`v had this same thought for some time. They for the most part are separated from the world. How many main stream Christians could go without a TV or electric, or a car, and cell phones. I have thought at times , I wish I would have been born and brought up Amish. Most Christians today Won`t separate themselves from the world . I have been to a church where you can wear shorts, tee shirt, and flip flops, and get food and drinks in the Fourier, and take it in the Sanctuary and eat and drink and text on cell phones during the sermon. The church today could learn a LOT from the Amish lifestyle!

  3. Charles Allen - January 18, 2014 at 11:23 am

    Pertaining to the behavior of many Christians today,makes one honestly wonder about the truth of Christianity today. One thing all Christians need to understand and accept,is that there are many non-christians who also read and study the Bible in search of the truth, but what they read and what they see in the behavior of Christians turns them away from Christianity all together. For the past 24 years I have researched and studied the Bible in Hebrews, Greek and English, comparing it with the behavior of Christians. During my research many Christians were interviewed and the results were shocking. 87% of Christians interviewed showed aggressive attitudes, and could not answer the Biblical questions asked, which made them come up with all types of excuses.When asked to identify some scriptures in the Bible, 68% did not know that such scriptures exist, also trying to justify themselves with the few scriptures they might have learnt in Sunday school. This shows that most Christians always believe they are right in their actions, even when their actions are proven to be wrong. For this reason as like many others, I rather not be associated with the behavior of Christians today, especially in South Africa. To preach means absolutly nothing if it does not come with true Christian actions, and this is Biblical.

  4. John C Grecco - August 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    A question to all:

    What is a christians responsibilty toward another christian who is obviously behaving badly? For example: Especially when this behavior will have permanent negative effects towards a relationship between a father and his children?

    Is it up to the witnessing christian to intervene? What bible verses pertain to this situation?

    Any help in this matter would be greatly appreciated… I am the father.

    Thank you

    • Chris - August 20, 2013 at 2:40 pm

      Hi John, is this person a CHristian? If so, then there are 2 verses that come to mind after you pray about this. And if its another family member, I would even consult/talk with your pastor and get his input on this. But the 2 verses come to mind are

      MAtthew 18 15-17 If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

      Then Galatians 6 1-6 Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another. For each one will bear his own load.

      No matter if the person is a close family member or friend/associate, you want to go to God first and see what exactly he wants you to do and then there is safety in the multitude of counselors so seek out pastoral help on this type of matter, too

      And one last point, what I said above on the 2 verses pertains to a brother/sister in Christ who is in sin, not someone who you just want to act better.

  5. Israel - August 6, 2012 at 3:33 am

    Thanks for the article.I would like to hear your views on my situation.I founded a ministry with some colleagues.We did not have a pastor to lead us.So we used to alternate when peraching.Then we noticed that one of the members had gone to a bible school and we thought to use him as our pastor.Few years passed by,he started houdning out the original founder members and finally i left.We even had him ordained.H e appointed me as an associate pastor.Later on he stopped communicating to me in terms of important decisions.He started making decisions and comments which was not healthy to the church.Started rumour mongering and bring hatred within the church.I confronted him on several occassions ,he would just listen and brush my suggestions off.I noticed that the church is going off mark and i left together with my wife.We said goodbye to the church and he prayed for us and released us.The same day he called all the members and strted telling them bad things about me.He called me name and i have never said anything because vengeance belongs to God.He is even blocking some church member from communicating with us.I have started a new ministry and i am busy evangelising and also getting help from some men and women of God.What do we do with bad behaviour pastors?
    Regards,Israel

    • Chris - August 20, 2013 at 2:27 pm

      Hi Israel, you def. did the right thing and remember, Integrity needs no defense. Excuse the grammar but that’s a great and true saying. As for your question on what to do with bad pastors behaving like that, I would pray for them and put them in God’s hands. But always keep praying for them to come to a true repentance.

  6. fox - March 20, 2012 at 8:34 am

    how many months mary was pregnant to god ?!!

  7. Sister V. - March 1, 2012 at 11:44 am

    In Luke 13, verses 3 and 5, Jesus said ~ `Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.’
    That means ~ “If you do not repent, you will perish.”
    Repent is a VERB. Verbs are in past tense or present tense or future tense.
    My Authorized King James Bible’s New Testament was translated from GREEK.
    The Greek word for `repent’ that Jesus used in the aforementioned verses…..
    is in the PRESENT TENSE.
    This means that “If you do not CONTINUALLY repent, you will perish.”

  8. saronne - December 28, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    Hi, Charlamaine-

    I saw your response that I believe was in answer to my post.

    You stated in an earlier post that when you don’t understand something you first ask your husband, then if he can’t answer, your minister does.

    This is exactly the point I was trying to make; you are asking people of the same denomination- same slant on things.

    May issue you a challenge? I believe you will find it eye-opening.

    Read the 4 Gospels looking for Jesus’ words. It saves time if you have His words in red print.

    What you will be looking for is everything He says that are works-related, and everything re faith.

    This is our Savior speaking; see what you think. It is necessary to put aside your belief of “once saved always saved” while you are doing this. Look at His teaching through fresh eyes.

    Then you can go to the rest of the NT and you might see things differently there as well; you will certainly see verses re faith, but you will see some pretty strong words re works as well.

    Also, re Revelation: specific sins are mentioned as to whom may enter into the Gate and who remain outside: it does NOT say “For without are those who are not born again”- which would have been all that were necessary. If believers are “safe” and non-believers aren’t, why would specific sins be mentioned?

    Charlamaine, this is such an important issue: I beg you-please try this? I did and it was an eye-opener.

    And again, after Jesus’ words in the 4 Gospels. you will find yourself seeing more of “work in Paul’s words as well, not to mention James’.

    God bless and Happy New Year.

  9. Charlamaine - December 28, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    I think you misunderstood what I was stating, I have read and studied the entire Bible both Old and New Testaments…I was stating I believe once saved always saved, however I do seek God everytime I sin…I have been baptized and have repented of my sins…I am a born again Christian. I pray everyday and ask for the Lord’s guidance. When I dont understand completely something I’ve read I talk to my husband, if he isn’t sure how to explain my Pastor is happy to talk to me about it. I am a Baptist. In Church we read a lot out of the New Testament actually. I am very strong in my walk with the Lord. Thanks. 🙂

  10. saronne - December 20, 2011 at 6:48 pm

    charlamaine, I truly think you have misunderstood the teachings: when we are baptized (which comes after our having repented and turned away from sin) we become new creations in Jesus. When we are “born again”, we are covered by Jesus’ great sacrifice for us.

    The difference between those who are born again and those who are not is that those who are not have no forgiveness of sins; Jesus does not take those sins on His shoulders. But for the genuine Christian, every time he sins, when he sincerely repents ( is sorrowful and turns from the sin) he is cleansed from that sin. We are to endure to the end- Jesus makes that crystal-clear! Repentance is an ongoing process of the believer that continues his/her whole life. We cannot ‘cherry-pick” the verses or passages of Scripture, while ignoring others. A perfect example of cherry-picking is “just believe in Christ and profess His Name and you will be saved. It is dangerous when people do Bible study in their respective churches. without doing some on their own; we can easily wind up learning “tradition” rather than the true teachings.

    If you start with the New Testament- reading ALL of it in context, you will see things you have not seen in Bible study. But first it is necessary to make every effort to look at these Scriptures as if you are seeing them for the first time. And it is imperative to make every effort to block out every single thing you have been taught by those studies, or from anybody who has tried to teach you “what the Bible really says”.

    If you do this you will see things that you never have before- some of which might be disturbing for sure, but necessary, if you want to know what truly constitutes Christianity.

    You will learn about faith and works- not just the “one-liners”- but what Jesus really taught. Try something and see what you think: read the 4 Gospels- this is where you find almost all of the teachings of Jesus; see for yourself what the emphasis is- whether it is faith or works. The, as you go through the rest of the NT, you can see it better in context.

    It is YOUR salvation that is at stake and I think you will find it well worth the effort!

  11. kAREN - December 9, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    I have wondered about this for so many years. I have prayed a lot about it lately because of someone I know. I feel GOD gave the scripture on the great white throne judgement.

  12. Rochelle Parker - December 1, 2011 at 8:00 am

    Honestly, some professed Christians are not saved. We assume they are saved because they say they are saved and they do what saved people do (on Sunday and maybe at midweek service). The Word tells us that we will know them by the fruit they bear. If they bear no fruit or spoiled fruit or an illusion of fruit then they are not saved.

  13. Charlamaine - November 27, 2011 at 12:04 am

    Terri, I think you should read this to get where I am coming from on the once saved always saved point of view…we are saved by grace through faith and not of works …or in other words good deeds and how good we are, I do believe that even those of us who will be saved that do wrong will still have to answer for it at our judgement…but here is the page http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Believer's%20Corner/eternal_security.htm , God Bless

  14. Terri Eaton-Beaudry - November 24, 2011 at 11:34 am

    Hello there…i want to say that i very much love your articles…they are a huge blessing to me, as i am sure they are to many others. So, thanks for sharing the results of all your hard work in putting these together! I really mean that!

    One thing i have to mention is that i don’t believe in ‘once saved, always saved.’ I believe that salvation is much, much more than just saying the sinner’s prayer and coming to believe in Jesus…because even the demons believe, and tremble…i believe that salvation is instant, because of all that Jesus did for us on the cross…and seemingly paradoxically, it is also the process of sanctification that occurs over our whole lives…and i do believe that we need to live a lifestyle of continual repentance…i have heard too many testimonies and read too many true stories about people who have seen hell, and who have found ‘christians’ there…people who at one time followed Christ, but had fallen into holding grudges, refusing to forgive, or were living in immorality, or were basically living like the world..stealing and lying in any form on a continual, without-repentance basis were all different reasons why there were many people who had been ‘christians’ on earth who ended up in hell. I’m not talking about our daily blunders and times where we miss it…i mean stuff that people seem to think is okay and continually do that is against God’s teachings, without trying to change or even wanting to change and grow by the power and help of the HOly Spirit.

  15. Charlamaine - November 22, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    Connie I do not believe people can lose their salvation I have talked to Pastors and studied a lot on the subject. The Bible says whosever believes…I dont think salvation is conditional at all I believe once saved always saved. Because once your born again you have all your sins forgiven past , present, and future sins The bible doesnt say you must repent again, again, again ,and again….Sin doesnt keep you out of Heaven if you are saved, but you will answer for it at your judgement. No man is without sin…the only person who was perfect was Jesus himself…hope I helped.

  16. Connie - October 25, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    Absouletly love this site, but would appreciate some clarification…..

    Do you believe a Christian can lose their salvation? Or put this way conditional or unconditional eternal security. Or “once saved, always saved”?

    Doesn’t sin prevent us from entering Heaven?

    Thank you for providing such a informative site….

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