Now we move onto the first chapter of Shattered Dreams, titled, “My Problem with God”

Did this title grab your attention. It sure did mine. It reminds me of a similar book I read a few years back called, Disappointment with God, by Phillip Yancey, who is just a great author. I remebmer Yancey stating that after he wrote the book many people came up to him and would say they can so relate but was always afraid of saying something like that. It sounds so bad. But the bottom line on this is how we think things are supposed to turn out as opposed to what God is really trying to do during ALL circumstances. Remember, Romans 8:28.

One of the things I really like about Larry Crabb is his brute honesty. He calls it like it is. I can imagine some holier than though people saying…oohhhh..that’s so unholy like to say those things. Oh come on now, God knows are darkest and more deplorable thoughts we have. How can we hide anything from Him. Isn’t it better to reach deep into our soul and bring out the gunk that’s in us, confess it and ask God to remove it. How can we do anything on our own. Didn’t Jesus say.. apart from Him, we can do nothing. Ok, I’m going off on a tangent, lol.

Back to the book,he starts out by saying to make a list of your 6 closest friends. He looks at his own list and admits that each friend on the list all are who do something for him. And then he talks about Jesus saying it was more blessed to give than to receive and he concludes that himself and most christians, if we take a close look at ourselves our mired in self-centeredness. It seems what we most value in friendship reflects our corruption, our depraved dreams.

I have to admit at this point I was wondering where he was going with this. Then he quotesw Luke 8:17 “Anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

So what’s the most noticeable traits of little children? They are takers. He goes onto say what he thinks Jesus really means by this verse…

“Nobody is more needy and has less to give than an infant. Babies never intentionally give anything of value to anyone. Sure, they can be fun to cuddle and fascinating to look at, butnever because they want to be. They never look for ways to bless. They’re takers through and through, not only because they’re selfish but they they’re helpless. Be like that! You are helpless, so admit it. Learn t receive what you can’t provide for yourself. He was recommending brokenness, something we live to avoid”

I have never heard this take on this verse before. I really like it. Isn’t that the start of humility. Admitting our need of a savior. I know from personal experience, we come to Jesus in our need but then after getting saved, we then start to rely on some of our own strengths instead of admitting, apart from Him, I can do nothing.

He stated he can hear Jesus to stop negotiating with Him, to stop offering something we think we have in exchange for His blessings.

How about you? Have you fallen into that trap of .. .if I just pray more, then God will give me the answer to this prayer? I know I have!!

The difference between an adult and infant is this: the infant communicates helplessness without choosing to. Adults, we can hide how desparate we are for someone to care. Others will not see clearly our deepest needs unless we choose to make them known. The seed of self-protection is in the infant; in adults, its a full grown weed.

Now he goes into what his problem with God was. He makes a few quotes I’m sure all of us have heard, like, if you aren’t feeling close to God, guess who moved.

He goes onto say that in the middle of some very big trials, God didn’t do what “he” thought a good friend would do, especially one with the resources to do it.

He then goes onto saying a few friends feel the same way…

One guy struggles with porn, keeps praying for the lust to go away but on many nights he loses the battle.

One woman is in a bad marriage and doesnt understand why since she has faithfully served God.

a 38 year old single longs to find a mate but can’t find one.

Another guy longs for a long lost dream.

He says..”It’s hard enough to develop a personal relationship with an invisible God, one whose voice I never hear the way I hear a friend’s voice over the phone, it’s even harder to feel close to an unresponsive God.”

Let me share a few more lines…

“My eral problem with God becomes apparent when long-held and deeply cherished dreams are shattered and He does nothing. And thse are good dreams, not dreams of riches and fame, but dreams of decent health for those I love and for good relationships among family and friends”

I believe we all have good dreams in us. To serve others, become missionaries, start a ministry, etc. All very good dreams but many times they are shattered. Why? Just like the parable in the beginning, its to make sure we find out what really matters most. Our relationship with our heavenly father.

He goes onto saying, that at some point in your Christian life, you’ll be forced to admit that Jesus didn’t make it on your list of responsive, valued friends. Live long enough, your dreams will shatter. God will not glue everything back together the way we want.

Divorces will go through, businesses will fail, cancer will come back, sometimes God will come through, other times it won’t be till we get to heaven.

And the author states that’s his problem. He says that after giving us His Son, He would never withhold any good thing.

Then why doesn’t he cure our sick relatives. Why isn’t he fixing my kids, why isn’t he blessing my work/business, etc. I think you get the point.

He then goes onto say..”When we see things rightly, we’ll write His name in capital letters at the top our list of friends and, wiht the angles, bow low before Him in adoration and awe. And hope. I believe that”

So he tries to answer the question, how can we write His name at the top of our list when our most fondest dreams shatter and He does nothing.

I know I have had gone through some stuff where I asked.. God what are you doing?!?!

I got this book about a week after I asked God this question… What is wrong with me, why do I feel the way I do? and He replied back with.. “Would you be happier if what you are believing for came true?” My answer was… of course, yes. No more words needed to be spoken. I then started to understand what God was doing.

I was relying on my joy to be situational joy. So when things go well, then I’ll be happy but thats not what God wants. Just like Paul, whether I abound or abase, I am the same.

But how do I get there? I’ve been trying all my Christian life. And that’s the problem… “ive been trying”. I have to realize apart from Him, I can do nothing. Just like I came to HIm at the very beginning and said… God, here I am, I come as I am, do what You want but I’m going to do what I want to do till You change my desire.

And folks, it didn’t happen overnight but it was a process and a few years later, no desire to drink again. Now that I consider a miracle but b/c I loved to drink.

So now I come to God and say, God, help me to love you the way I should, do something in me so I can attain to true joy and peace.

I no longer have to worry about doing it on my own, Im coming to God and letting Him work it in me. As Larry Crabbs, other book titles.. The Pressures Off. That’s the bottom line message. It has to be all Him!!

Till next time. Let me know what ya think.

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